Tomorrow's a big day, folks.
That's right. The Solstice. Good times, good times. I wasn't on the blogosphere a year ago, but I've read through the archives. Some bitchin' tight stories they all wrote way back when, sexily entertaining. But all good things must end and so they did. All those assholes are dead now. More or less. But that's cool, 'cause now we have even more assholes than we did back then. There are even some sweet motherfuckers, like yours truly, here to liven this dismal place up a bit now. Back then we just had Reach, and you can't deny that that dude was a total killjoy. No fun at all.
We've had lots of fun since then though, haven't we? I got to be made into a chess piece in a game between four different eldritch abominations. I met a fine upstanding gentleman from the totally rational and well-funded group of paranormal investigators at CRUSADER. I got to work with psychotic fourteen year old assassins. Good times. And y'all remember Iscariot. Love that guy; he was a complete ass, but I love that guy. Don't have a damn clue about anything that happened back when I was with him, but fuck was it fun. I think his blog was much more interesting with me on it, but that's just whatever.
Slendy even managed to nab himself a cute little girlfriend, that sly dog. I always knew he was a player. But Fifi's a real nice girl, the Boss found himself a good one, that's for sure. I totes get to be the best man at the wedding. I hear it's scheduled for June 10, and all of you are invited. It'll be sweet.
Then there's Konaa. My bestest buddy in the whole wide world. I can't apologize enough, I should have been there. Should have had your back when that Rhode Island Redfucker came after you. I'm sorry. I should have been there for you, I should have stopped him. After everything we went through together... It shouldn't have ended like that. We survived the Alamo, Vietnam, that ICP concert. To be blown up in a warehouse like you're just some shitty extra in a Schwarzenegger film... I'm sorry, I need a minute...
Okay I'm good.
And don't worry Konaa, I broke the news to Arnie. He took it alright.
But there's so much else that's gone on. Sageboy came back, went nuts, slaughtered the innocent, got killed by a tree. You can't make this shit up folks.
Robbie died. Five times. Do elephants get nine lives like a cat?
Shaun-boy's back now! He's always been one of my favorites. I especially liked the time he broke his face trying to do parkour. Loser. But he's a vet now, you've got to give him points for that. But he gets even more points for being able to meet up with the ever-elusive M. Even the Boss has a hard time keeping up with him, so you sir, deserve a fucking... well, just a fucking, let's get the man a twenty dollar whore.
And Maduin. Beloved jester. The Boss was always thoroughly amused by your antics. Never before did any man have the audacity to dare prank the powerful and mighty Slender Man. You caught Him unawares, and He developed a great respect for you as a prankster. But He did get you back in the end. His nanna would be so proud if she could see Him now...
Sorry, I get off point. There are new sages now. I don't really like any them, they're all dicks. Especially Nick, flying around with his magic-shit, slaying unicorns and the bugs from Skull Island. And yet David Tennant manages to give you trouble. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me either.
The PTC crashed and burned. And I never even got to find out what the fuck Father Paranoia was. Dic... actually no, they never solved the mystery, so they clearly aren't dicks. At least, not very good ones. But still, they were totes badass. And they always had the best toys. I would just absolutely love to get my hands on some lasers. Pew pew pew.
Elaine and the Fall of Hope. God, we are pretentious, aren't we? You can't even tell me you didn't know everything was gonna go south, you clearly picked that name just to be all dramatic and shit. Nevertheless, I believe we have a standing date to pick up a drink together. Forget the past and get drunk. That's the philosophy I tell other people to live by. They're much easier to pick off when they're drunk.
Return to S(l)ender!!! Address unknown!!! No such person. No such zone. Wait, I already made that joke, didn't I? Sorry, that's just in bad taste. Doc, you can't keep denying how you really feel about me forever. Wait, I already made that joke once too. So being serious for a moment: when exactly did you manage to steal my wallet. I seem to recall you could hardly stand, yet you manage to steal my wallet? Bitch. I know it was you, I had it on me before I met you and then it wasn't. Spencer, your people are thieves. And you are a gigantic donkey. Hee-haw, hee-haw! Steele, that offer's still good anytime you want to take it up. The rest of you... yeah, I don't really care, you all have enough issues to make me seem normal. That's honestly quite frightening.
There was also that douche that claimed he wrote Dreams in Darkness and tried to make a novel. And then Sparky killed him. Rather anticlimactic. Also, that reminds me, I still owe the Arsonist a cantaloupe.
Zeke Strahm is back. Has been back. Is still off... Zeke Strahming shit. What else can I say, you all follow his blog, don't even act like you don't.
Dammit, do you people have any idea how hard it is keeping shit a secret for a whole year? Of course I knew what Alex had done the whole time, Master let me in on the secret 'cause I'm a badass, but I didn't want to spoil the ending for you guys. Jegus did Jayjay ever take forever in watching those tapes. Of course, we had to let him watch through the tapes, 'cause where's the fun in just telling him what happened? He's a big boy after all, he should be able to solve his own eldritch stalker and cryptic bullshit problems. And remember kids, headbutting Cthulhu is never a sound tactical decision.
It might however be a half decent name for a rock band. With a trumpet player and a little plate with grapefruit for the VIPs to snack on backstage.
The HYBRIDs have been rather quiet lately. Master won't tell me what's going on with them. They're His 'special project.' Personally, I think He was just looking for ways to keep His sexy figure and got a bit too... what? People have already done that joke? Well fuck, what am I supposed to do now, that was my whole shtick. I guess I'll just have to make fun of Vinnie's bea-- oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.
Well damn, a lot of shit's gone down in the last year. I can't possibly cover everything. But just lemme tell y'all it's been damn fun! To all of you who've had the pleasure of meeting me so far, I love you. And to everyone else, I look forward to becoming acquainted with you in the future.
Of course, I couldn't let such a momentous occasion pass without something big going down. And since we've already taken care of our case (I'll get to that later, it wasn't that interesting anyway) I figured I may as well engineer something entertaining. And since it will also serve to get me answers to some shit that happened months ago and none of you probably even care about anymore, well, double score. Seriously though, I have unfinished business to take care of, so I figured I may as well take care of it while taking advantage of the Solstice. We'll all come out of this with a good feeling about ourselves, I'm certain.
Stay frosty and stay tuned. I'll be back tomorrow with the official report.
Showing posts with label Never the End. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Never the End. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Hey hey hey, I just found my way...
...All you stupid fuckers walk around astounded and drownin'
Yeah! I'm free! Free once again to breathe the air of the normal world where there are not monsters and crazed beasts around every corner. Here where the monsters are inside the closet and under the bed where they belong. Except for Neil Young, who somehow is still able to walk around freely in public. I've had things less frightening than that try to eat me.
It looks like several of the posts I made while inside the office on Ash Tree Lane didn't go through. And some of those that are there, I don't recall writing. There appear to also be some holes in what's up there, but fuck it, I can't be bothered to figure out what is and is not there. I'm free motherfuckers! Hide your wife, hide your kids!
Okay, maybe just the basics. We got inside the building, Roulette was gonna do whatever he was gonna do with the Book, but Sullivan betrayed us and killed Roulette. As he tried to make off with the Book, his 'associates' the Crimson Templars (or something stupid like that) arrive and we have a big fight, get separated, I get lost inside the place and fun times are had by all. Eventually I meet up again with Cadence and then Arpeggio and Madi. Oh, there was also my little encounter with Legacy and my other little encounter with the Dying Man. Finally we wind up in the lobby and are about to leave, when Legacy stops us. Then Sullivan and his assholes show up. Legacy has the Book with him and Sullivan requests that he return it to them. There was something about requiring the power it holds if they are to resurrect their savior. Sorry bro, but I just can't in good conscience allow you bring about L. Ron's return.
Sullivan pulls out his gun and points it at Legacy, and in response Cadence levels his rifle at Sullivan. Another one of the knights pulls a gun on him; Arpeggio pulls two guns and aims one at the knight and one at red trenchcoat bitch, who I think is the leader of this pretentious Redlight wannabe gang. And so it goes. By the time all is said and done, I myself have no less than three projectile weapons aimed at my person, including what appears to be a grenade launcher, while, having lost my second pistol somewhere along the way, I am left pointing but a single gun at some random mook. I was extremely disappointed that I didn't even get to fire at somebody important, but what can you do? I also, in the middle of the insanity, took notice of the fact that some of the knights were pointing guns at each other. Musta had a falling out. So, there's four of us, Legacy, about a dozen or so motherfuckers, and about thirty guns. We got quite the Mexican standoff goin' on here, is what I'm gettin' at.
Those crazy Mexicans and their silly Australian gunfights.
But as fun as it is just sittin' around and pointing guns at one another, at some point somebody has to actually do something. In this case it wasn't any of us. There's a crack, some black leaves blowing in the breeze and the front doors open wind. In walks this dude, just as natural as if he were entering his own fucking living room, dressed in torn jeans and a black hoodie. He's got the hood pulled up and his head down, so we can't see his face, and he just strolls in, not seeming to take heed of the twenty or so pissed off motherfuckers with firearms only a couple yards off.
The newcomer stops and turns his head toward Legacy, who nods, and then this woman walks in, who is very clearly the Dying Man's new host, what with her missing eye, her sunken-in cheeks, the way the flesh on her face is kind of peeling off, the way her voice sounds like Satchmo. Yeah, blow your horn, Louie. The woman walks over to Legacy and takes the Book from him, the sound of a gun being fired is heard, and that's all it takes for everything to go absolutely batshit. Bullets flying every which way, people going down, me cutting out a dude's throat after he shot me in the left shoulder. Jegus, I got a crate dropped on it, got shot there before, got my arm cut open, got my hand broken... please, for the love of God, if you're going to attack me in the arm, can you please go for the right side? I don't think the left one can sustain much more shit happening to it.
So the smoke clears, some folks are dead, including Legacy it looks like. Of course the little demon twins are somehow perfectly fine, creepy little fucks. Hoodie guy is standing in the middle of the room, a bloodied sword in one hand, the Book in the other. It was at this point that I saw the Operator Symbol on the back of his hoodie. Black hoodie... Operator symbol... shows up in the middle of crazy shit goin' down... Hey, I know who this guy is!
"Hey, motherfucker, I thought you was supposed to be studying and shit. You keep saying that's why you can't update your blog!"
He turns around. "Hey, you try writing up an essay about the existential dynamics of space-time manipulation by extradimensional horroterrors without stealing a tome of eldritch lore or two and see how far you get."
"So how come you ain't dead right now? That's how these incidents usually end, ain't it?"
"That's just silly. If I were dead, I couldn't be waxing my car while fighting Nazis in Brazil?"
"...Huh?"
"Sorry I don't have time to talk, but I am a very busy man. There are papers to write and dark magick to read up on."
And with that he was gone. Once again, my hospitality is ignored, as another one just leaves without staying to have drinks. What's this world coming to? So with that... encounter finished, I realized hey, who the hell else is still around? We didn't find any knights still breathing, so I collected my peeps and we got the hell out of there. It's really been two fucking weeks since we went in there? What the fuck? I know it felt like we were there forever, but really I figured it couldn't have been more than a week. Stupid fucked up bullshit mindfuckering, asswiping, time-distorting, space-warping, dimensional bleeding structure of corporate whatever, I'm tired of this now.
It's been a long ride, my peeps. A mindfucked motherfucker with teh magick powerz, fucking Wyoming, a teenage girl getting too involved in an internet myth, H.P. Lovecraft's Book of Bedtime Stories, couriers, revenants, cultists, Fears, motherfucking Omega... What the hell? That's all I can say really, just- just, what the hell?
With Legacy and Roulette and most of the rest of the team gone, I guess that means I'm leader now! W00t!! Naw, just fucking with y'all. That shit's boring, and it gets far too political for my tastes. Anyway, we got places to get our asses to right now. Before the higher ups start pissing and moaning about all the shit that's gone down. If they think I'm filling out any goddamn paperwork they obviously haven't been keeping in touch with my insurance agency.
Life is fucking good motherfuckers! Stay frosty ladies and bros. Hopefully we'll have some kind of new job soon and more ridiculous and stupid shit to regale you all with. Because we've all been having a just wonderful time with all that thus far, haven't we?
Yeah, I know you fucking have.
Yeah! I'm free! Free once again to breathe the air of the normal world where there are not monsters and crazed beasts around every corner. Here where the monsters are inside the closet and under the bed where they belong. Except for Neil Young, who somehow is still able to walk around freely in public. I've had things less frightening than that try to eat me.
It looks like several of the posts I made while inside the office on Ash Tree Lane didn't go through. And some of those that are there, I don't recall writing. There appear to also be some holes in what's up there, but fuck it, I can't be bothered to figure out what is and is not there. I'm free motherfuckers! Hide your wife, hide your kids!
Okay, maybe just the basics. We got inside the building, Roulette was gonna do whatever he was gonna do with the Book, but Sullivan betrayed us and killed Roulette. As he tried to make off with the Book, his 'associates' the Crimson Templars (or something stupid like that) arrive and we have a big fight, get separated, I get lost inside the place and fun times are had by all. Eventually I meet up again with Cadence and then Arpeggio and Madi. Oh, there was also my little encounter with Legacy and my other little encounter with the Dying Man. Finally we wind up in the lobby and are about to leave, when Legacy stops us. Then Sullivan and his assholes show up. Legacy has the Book with him and Sullivan requests that he return it to them. There was something about requiring the power it holds if they are to resurrect their savior. Sorry bro, but I just can't in good conscience allow you bring about L. Ron's return.
Sullivan pulls out his gun and points it at Legacy, and in response Cadence levels his rifle at Sullivan. Another one of the knights pulls a gun on him; Arpeggio pulls two guns and aims one at the knight and one at red trenchcoat bitch, who I think is the leader of this pretentious Redlight wannabe gang. And so it goes. By the time all is said and done, I myself have no less than three projectile weapons aimed at my person, including what appears to be a grenade launcher, while, having lost my second pistol somewhere along the way, I am left pointing but a single gun at some random mook. I was extremely disappointed that I didn't even get to fire at somebody important, but what can you do? I also, in the middle of the insanity, took notice of the fact that some of the knights were pointing guns at each other. Musta had a falling out. So, there's four of us, Legacy, about a dozen or so motherfuckers, and about thirty guns. We got quite the Mexican standoff goin' on here, is what I'm gettin' at.
Those crazy Mexicans and their silly Australian gunfights.
But as fun as it is just sittin' around and pointing guns at one another, at some point somebody has to actually do something. In this case it wasn't any of us. There's a crack, some black leaves blowing in the breeze and the front doors open wind. In walks this dude, just as natural as if he were entering his own fucking living room, dressed in torn jeans and a black hoodie. He's got the hood pulled up and his head down, so we can't see his face, and he just strolls in, not seeming to take heed of the twenty or so pissed off motherfuckers with firearms only a couple yards off.
The newcomer stops and turns his head toward Legacy, who nods, and then this woman walks in, who is very clearly the Dying Man's new host, what with her missing eye, her sunken-in cheeks, the way the flesh on her face is kind of peeling off, the way her voice sounds like Satchmo. Yeah, blow your horn, Louie. The woman walks over to Legacy and takes the Book from him, the sound of a gun being fired is heard, and that's all it takes for everything to go absolutely batshit. Bullets flying every which way, people going down, me cutting out a dude's throat after he shot me in the left shoulder. Jegus, I got a crate dropped on it, got shot there before, got my arm cut open, got my hand broken... please, for the love of God, if you're going to attack me in the arm, can you please go for the right side? I don't think the left one can sustain much more shit happening to it.
So the smoke clears, some folks are dead, including Legacy it looks like. Of course the little demon twins are somehow perfectly fine, creepy little fucks. Hoodie guy is standing in the middle of the room, a bloodied sword in one hand, the Book in the other. It was at this point that I saw the Operator Symbol on the back of his hoodie. Black hoodie... Operator symbol... shows up in the middle of crazy shit goin' down... Hey, I know who this guy is!
"Hey, motherfucker, I thought you was supposed to be studying and shit. You keep saying that's why you can't update your blog!"
He turns around. "Hey, you try writing up an essay about the existential dynamics of space-time manipulation by extradimensional horroterrors without stealing a tome of eldritch lore or two and see how far you get."
"So how come you ain't dead right now? That's how these incidents usually end, ain't it?"
"That's just silly. If I were dead, I couldn't be waxing my car while fighting Nazis in Brazil?"
"...Huh?"
"Sorry I don't have time to talk, but I am a very busy man. There are papers to write and dark magick to read up on."
And with that he was gone. Once again, my hospitality is ignored, as another one just leaves without staying to have drinks. What's this world coming to? So with that... encounter finished, I realized hey, who the hell else is still around? We didn't find any knights still breathing, so I collected my peeps and we got the hell out of there. It's really been two fucking weeks since we went in there? What the fuck? I know it felt like we were there forever, but really I figured it couldn't have been more than a week. Stupid fucked up bullshit mindfuckering, asswiping, time-distorting, space-warping, dimensional bleeding structure of corporate whatever, I'm tired of this now.
It's been a long ride, my peeps. A mindfucked motherfucker with teh magick powerz, fucking Wyoming, a teenage girl getting too involved in an internet myth, H.P. Lovecraft's Book of Bedtime Stories, couriers, revenants, cultists, Fears, motherfucking Omega... What the hell? That's all I can say really, just- just, what the hell?
With Legacy and Roulette and most of the rest of the team gone, I guess that means I'm leader now! W00t!! Naw, just fucking with y'all. That shit's boring, and it gets far too political for my tastes. Anyway, we got places to get our asses to right now. Before the higher ups start pissing and moaning about all the shit that's gone down. If they think I'm filling out any goddamn paperwork they obviously haven't been keeping in touch with my insurance agency.
Life is fucking good motherfuckers! Stay frosty ladies and bros. Hopefully we'll have some kind of new job soon and more ridiculous and stupid shit to regale you all with. Because we've all been having a just wonderful time with all that thus far, haven't we?
Yeah, I know you fucking have.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
But you and I we've been through that, And this is not our fate
I ran into Legacy earlier.
He's looking terribly not well. He wouldn't tell me what the hell happened to him after he just disappeared, but he was covered in dirt and blood and looking generally like shit. At one point he had a nice coughing fit and hacked up some black shit. I noticed his eyes were... the veins in his eyes had turned black it looked like.
I had been up in the tower, trying to sleep 'cause you know it's been four days I think that I've been in here and I needed some fucking sleep. Now of course I didn't figure on getting a good night's rest in this crazy ass place, but I didn't really expect to get dragged off someplace in my sleep. I probably should have, but fuck if I wasn't fucking tired. And besides, I kind of didn't expect there to be angels in this hellhole. Yeah, angels motherfucker, with wings and halos, and white robes and armor and flaming swords and shit. They had helmets on covering their whole heads, so I couldn't see whether or not they actually look like ugly fat babies.
But anyhow, I wake up and I'm not where I fell asleep at. I look around and see these fuckers standin' all around and I'm fuckin' tied up y'know and I'm just like 'shit, what the fuck man?' but they ain't payin' no mind to me at all. Then one of 'em comes over and presses the tip of its sword to my chest, which I believe I mentioned they had flaming swords, fucking burned me with it. It kinda tilted its head staring down at me an' just let me sit there with a flaming sword cutting through my ribcage for a few minutes before finally letting up and moving on.
I still do not know what the hell they were planning to do to me there. It was only a couple minutes after that that Legacy showed up and beat the fuckers all down with his bitchin' crazy ass mindfucked revenant powers. I think. He unties me and I'm like hey Legacy, what the fuck you doin', you been gone for a while bro. And he's just like 'Cryptic bullshit motherfucker' and dances off with the fairies. Okay, maybe I made part of that up. It was so much cryptic as it was bullshit.
So he starts talkin' shit, crazy shit, just real fast talking and not even really caring if I'm listening or not. He's sayin' some stuff that sounds familiar, I've seen on this blog before and in the future, about the Scarlet Knights and the Beast. I couldn't really make sense of most of it. There was one point where he grabs me and starts yelling at my face that we need to get the Book back, it has to be destroyed so we can seal the Aperture before the Angel is released. Blacklight was going to kill the Archangel and something about a man with the 'sign of the Operator' emblazoned on his jacket would come and destroy the Blackwelder's Account.
Then suddenly he stops and just walks off down the corridor. I yelled at him like what the fuck bro? and he turns back briefly.
"Everyone is going to die, Ridley. It is inevitable. To fight death is foolish. Do not turn from the service of the Old Gods, for only in them does eternity lie."
And then he walked off like a motherfucker.
Shit, five days now in this place, I need to get the fuck out before I start going looney as well.
Stay frosty, my bitches.
He's looking terribly not well. He wouldn't tell me what the hell happened to him after he just disappeared, but he was covered in dirt and blood and looking generally like shit. At one point he had a nice coughing fit and hacked up some black shit. I noticed his eyes were... the veins in his eyes had turned black it looked like.
I had been up in the tower, trying to sleep 'cause you know it's been four days I think that I've been in here and I needed some fucking sleep. Now of course I didn't figure on getting a good night's rest in this crazy ass place, but I didn't really expect to get dragged off someplace in my sleep. I probably should have, but fuck if I wasn't fucking tired. And besides, I kind of didn't expect there to be angels in this hellhole. Yeah, angels motherfucker, with wings and halos, and white robes and armor and flaming swords and shit. They had helmets on covering their whole heads, so I couldn't see whether or not they actually look like ugly fat babies.
But anyhow, I wake up and I'm not where I fell asleep at. I look around and see these fuckers standin' all around and I'm fuckin' tied up y'know and I'm just like 'shit, what the fuck man?' but they ain't payin' no mind to me at all. Then one of 'em comes over and presses the tip of its sword to my chest, which I believe I mentioned they had flaming swords, fucking burned me with it. It kinda tilted its head staring down at me an' just let me sit there with a flaming sword cutting through my ribcage for a few minutes before finally letting up and moving on.
I still do not know what the hell they were planning to do to me there. It was only a couple minutes after that that Legacy showed up and beat the fuckers all down with his bitchin' crazy ass mindfucked revenant powers. I think. He unties me and I'm like hey Legacy, what the fuck you doin', you been gone for a while bro. And he's just like 'Cryptic bullshit motherfucker' and dances off with the fairies. Okay, maybe I made part of that up. It was so much cryptic as it was bullshit.
So he starts talkin' shit, crazy shit, just real fast talking and not even really caring if I'm listening or not. He's sayin' some stuff that sounds familiar, I've seen on this blog before and in the future, about the Scarlet Knights and the Beast. I couldn't really make sense of most of it. There was one point where he grabs me and starts yelling at my face that we need to get the Book back, it has to be destroyed so we can seal the Aperture before the Angel is released. Blacklight was going to kill the Archangel and something about a man with the 'sign of the Operator' emblazoned on his jacket would come and destroy the Blackwelder's Account.
Then suddenly he stops and just walks off down the corridor. I yelled at him like what the fuck bro? and he turns back briefly.
"Everyone is going to die, Ridley. It is inevitable. To fight death is foolish. Do not turn from the service of the Old Gods, for only in them does eternity lie."
And then he walked off like a motherfucker.
Shit, five days now in this place, I need to get the fuck out before I start going looney as well.
Stay frosty, my bitches.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
When your fears subside, and shadows still remain
Sorry about that y'all. Roulette's a bit of a motherfucker. What am I saying, he's a huge motherfucker. I can't apologize enough for leaving my blog in the hands of that douchebag. My hand has healed up nicely so I am once again able to be the one to keep y'all updated on all the awesome shit that's been goin' down around here. Fuck Roulette for breaking my hand too. I don't recall if he mentioned that to y'all, but it's true that he did. Fuckwhore.
So anyway, he did mention to y'all that we've got our own stalker here, nice distinguished older gentleman that we've seen hangin' around outside the place here and there. Before that we had a number of different folks who we'd see for maybe a day or so, and we'd never see the same person more than once or twice. None of them would ever get too close though, and if anyone tried to go out and start some shit with 'em they'd just up and disappear.
That does not seem to be the case any longer, however. Might have something to with the fact that Legacy's missing. A couple days ago he left to go take care of some business elsewhere, and we just haven't heard from him since. Well yesterday, our stalker buddy shows up again, but this time he's chillin' literally on our doorstep. Death's Head behaved in a less than hospitable manner towards this, said she was tired of seein' the fucker, and she was gonna put a stop to this shit. She goes outside with her big fucking knife and just starts filling the guy full a holes. Now most of us aren't crazy enough to get in her way when she starts gettin' all nuts, but Roulette seems to think he's the team leader or something while Legacy's gone, and he's either got some serious balls or I just gave him too much credit presenting him as the sane man around here. Because as soon as he found out what was going on, he heads out to try and stop her.
It didn't turn out too well. He tried to tranquilize her, but she only turned around and nearly took his bitch head off. Then the old man, somehow not dead, grabs her and tosses her through the window. Well, he tried to anyway, his arm kinda fell off and dropped her in the window. That was a bloody fucking mess. Roulette gets up and then goes back down, the old guy punched him back and he fell down the stairs, knocks his stupid head on the concrete and goes out like a light.
Well that just left me and old No-Name hangin' around, watchin' the action throug the broken window. He looks in at us and I see that his face is pretty fucked up. All scarred and shit, wrinkled and lookin' like some strips of flesh is missin'. He grins at us, revealing that most of his teeth are gone and the ones that ain't are black and rotten, just like his gums. He laughs, then walks out of view and we see the front door close. I walk over and check it out, and the fucker's just gone.
While I was busy contemplating about what kind of crazy fuck shows up looking like death, knocks out our dudes and then is nice enough to close the door before he goes, we hear some gunshots coming from the inner rooms. We go in, check that shit out, find Hansel and Gretel and a whole shit-ton of bullet holes all around. They was guarding the Book, which I check up on and see that all seems to be in order. Apparently the old guy walked in through the closet and... actually, they couldn't really agree on what happened after that. Cadence says he lunged at them and they just shot at him, but somehow the bullets were just missing him. And then he sliced both their heads off. Arpeggio says he just strolled in, the lights went out and then she was gettin' impaled on her own gun like she was the sheriff's daughter and Michael Myers came to call
Obviously neither of these can be correct, what with them both being not dead.
Or at least, we don't think so. We seem to have deduced the identity of our mysterious stalker. The Dying Gentleman. Like the Boss, only without a body, so he possesses folks. And then they die and shit. So not really like the Boss all that much really. It makes sense now why we kept seeing different people around, he kept using up his hosts. Though we're not sure why he was using this most recent one for so long, it seems he pretty well used that one all up. The disappearing act he kept pulling was just hopping through the City. That at least might've been obvious. It would've also seemed obvious that he was comin' for the Book, except that he had the damn thing right in his sight and decided not to grab it. We're... not altogether sure what to make of that.
There are new pages in theA̺̱͑̈́̃͂̂́r̵̯̠̮͙͎̯̗͑͊͒͐̂́͝ͅc͗ͣ̌͐ͯ̑ͥ̀ͧ͏͏̞̠̬̩h̴̤ͪͣͩͣ͘͞i̢̡̲̬͙̝͓̲̥̓ͫͅv̶̵̡͖͔̰͉ͬ̉ͭ̈́ȩ̮͕̯̽ͪ̐ now. Things I can actually read without whatever supernatural shit is in that thing getting all up inside my head. Not that it would matter, but it doesn't match with anything I read in it before. Der Ritter. The Guardians of the Bloody Prophet. 666. The Scarlet Knights. The Dying Man. The Beast. Exit Light. Black Leaves. The Aperture.
Roulette broke the fucking thing, I'm having trouble holding it together now. It only works so long as I can't remember. She's trying to break it down too. The Wooden Bitch. I've seen what she's sending through the TV. Couldn't get at us in person with the Master showing up every time she tries shit.
Legacy's a doomed man. He stayed with the delusion right up until the end, couldn't understand why his body wouldn't fit back together after the Red Man cut him in half. Maybe he was just a bit more gone than normal though, lying there in a puddle of his own blood as the darkness slowly came and devoured him. The twins fared somewhat better at least. Cadence never even got to see what took him out when one of the puppets came from behind and chopped off the top of his head. Arpeggio was with Madi at the very end; somehow they'd managed to crawl out of the explosion, but then the crows came and picked off what was left of their flesh. The Master stood by and watched as they expired. He didn't think much of the Scarlet Specter's devotion to her messiah, so he repaid her for the death of his minions with the death of hers.
A hundred corpses filled the town by the time it was all over. Bodies rendered limb from limb, bleeding and burnt, a last look of terror stuck on their fucking traitorous faces. I could hear their screams echo from out of hell. The streets ran red with blood.
Fuck, did I actually just say that?
No-Name received such a terribly dull end. A stray bullet caught him in the back and pierced his heart. Kind of ironic I suppose, since he'd been invested in carving out the heart of the Black Knight's accomplice when it hit. Roulette had been facing the Black Knight, but he really should've learned how to fight. Poison doesn't do so well against a gun. Or maybe it was that gaping hole that his intestines were hanging out of. That could've been what did him in. Sullivan... well he just got fucked in the end.
Is that how it went? Maybe I only read them in my head after all.
I should stop.
So that's been our week. How 'bout the rest of y'all, how are you fuckers? Keepin' it frosty I hope.
So anyway, he did mention to y'all that we've got our own stalker here, nice distinguished older gentleman that we've seen hangin' around outside the place here and there. Before that we had a number of different folks who we'd see for maybe a day or so, and we'd never see the same person more than once or twice. None of them would ever get too close though, and if anyone tried to go out and start some shit with 'em they'd just up and disappear.
That does not seem to be the case any longer, however. Might have something to with the fact that Legacy's missing. A couple days ago he left to go take care of some business elsewhere, and we just haven't heard from him since. Well yesterday, our stalker buddy shows up again, but this time he's chillin' literally on our doorstep. Death's Head behaved in a less than hospitable manner towards this, said she was tired of seein' the fucker, and she was gonna put a stop to this shit. She goes outside with her big fucking knife and just starts filling the guy full a holes. Now most of us aren't crazy enough to get in her way when she starts gettin' all nuts, but Roulette seems to think he's the team leader or something while Legacy's gone, and he's either got some serious balls or I just gave him too much credit presenting him as the sane man around here. Because as soon as he found out what was going on, he heads out to try and stop her.
It didn't turn out too well. He tried to tranquilize her, but she only turned around and nearly took his bitch head off. Then the old man, somehow not dead, grabs her and tosses her through the window. Well, he tried to anyway, his arm kinda fell off and dropped her in the window. That was a bloody fucking mess. Roulette gets up and then goes back down, the old guy punched him back and he fell down the stairs, knocks his stupid head on the concrete and goes out like a light.
Well that just left me and old No-Name hangin' around, watchin' the action throug the broken window. He looks in at us and I see that his face is pretty fucked up. All scarred and shit, wrinkled and lookin' like some strips of flesh is missin'. He grins at us, revealing that most of his teeth are gone and the ones that ain't are black and rotten, just like his gums. He laughs, then walks out of view and we see the front door close. I walk over and check it out, and the fucker's just gone.
While I was busy contemplating about what kind of crazy fuck shows up looking like death, knocks out our dudes and then is nice enough to close the door before he goes, we hear some gunshots coming from the inner rooms. We go in, check that shit out, find Hansel and Gretel and a whole shit-ton of bullet holes all around. They was guarding the Book, which I check up on and see that all seems to be in order. Apparently the old guy walked in through the closet and... actually, they couldn't really agree on what happened after that. Cadence says he lunged at them and they just shot at him, but somehow the bullets were just missing him. And then he sliced both their heads off. Arpeggio says he just strolled in, the lights went out and then she was gettin' impaled on her own gun like she was the sheriff's daughter and Michael Myers came to call
Obviously neither of these can be correct, what with them both being not dead.
Or at least, we don't think so. We seem to have deduced the identity of our mysterious stalker. The Dying Gentleman. Like the Boss, only without a body, so he possesses folks. And then they die and shit. So not really like the Boss all that much really. It makes sense now why we kept seeing different people around, he kept using up his hosts. Though we're not sure why he was using this most recent one for so long, it seems he pretty well used that one all up. The disappearing act he kept pulling was just hopping through the City. That at least might've been obvious. It would've also seemed obvious that he was comin' for the Book, except that he had the damn thing right in his sight and decided not to grab it. We're... not altogether sure what to make of that.
There are new pages in the
Roulette broke the fucking thing, I'm having trouble holding it together now. It only works so long as I can't remember. She's trying to break it down too. The Wooden Bitch. I've seen what she's sending through the TV. Couldn't get at us in person with the Master showing up every time she tries shit.
Legacy's a doomed man. He stayed with the delusion right up until the end, couldn't understand why his body wouldn't fit back together after the Red Man cut him in half. Maybe he was just a bit more gone than normal though, lying there in a puddle of his own blood as the darkness slowly came and devoured him. The twins fared somewhat better at least. Cadence never even got to see what took him out when one of the puppets came from behind and chopped off the top of his head. Arpeggio was with Madi at the very end; somehow they'd managed to crawl out of the explosion, but then the crows came and picked off what was left of their flesh. The Master stood by and watched as they expired. He didn't think much of the Scarlet Specter's devotion to her messiah, so he repaid her for the death of his minions with the death of hers.
A hundred corpses filled the town by the time it was all over. Bodies rendered limb from limb, bleeding and burnt, a last look of terror stuck on their fucking traitorous faces. I could hear their screams echo from out of hell. The streets ran red with blood.
Fuck, did I actually just say that?
No-Name received such a terribly dull end. A stray bullet caught him in the back and pierced his heart. Kind of ironic I suppose, since he'd been invested in carving out the heart of the Black Knight's accomplice when it hit. Roulette had been facing the Black Knight, but he really should've learned how to fight. Poison doesn't do so well against a gun. Or maybe it was that gaping hole that his intestines were hanging out of. That could've been what did him in. Sullivan... well he just got fucked in the end.
Is that how it went? Maybe I only read them in my head after all.
I should stop.
So that's been our week. How 'bout the rest of y'all, how are you fuckers? Keepin' it frosty I hope.
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