When your fears subside, and shadows still remain

Sorry about that y'all. Roulette's a bit of a motherfucker. What am I saying, he's a huge motherfucker. I can't apologize enough for leaving my blog in the hands of that douchebag. My hand has healed up nicely so I am once again able to be the one to keep y'all updated on all the awesome shit that's been goin' down around here. Fuck Roulette for breaking my hand too. I don't recall if he mentioned that to y'all, but it's true that he did. Fuckwhore.

So anyway, he did mention to y'all that we've got our own stalker here, nice distinguished older gentleman that we've seen hangin' around outside the place here and there. Before that we had a number of different folks who we'd see for maybe a day or so, and we'd never see the same person more than once or twice. None of them would ever get too close though, and if anyone tried to go out and start some shit with 'em they'd just up and disappear.

That does not seem to be the case any longer, however. Might have something to with the fact that Legacy's missing. A couple days ago he left to go take care of some business elsewhere, and we just haven't heard from him since. Well yesterday, our stalker buddy shows up again, but this time he's chillin' literally on our doorstep. Death's Head behaved in a less than hospitable manner towards this, said she was tired of seein' the fucker, and she was gonna put a stop to this shit. She goes outside with her big fucking knife and just starts filling the guy full a holes. Now most of us aren't crazy enough to get in her way when she starts gettin' all nuts, but Roulette seems to think he's the team leader or something while Legacy's gone, and he's either got some serious balls or I just gave him too much credit presenting him as the sane man around here. Because as soon as he found out what was going on, he heads out to try and stop her.

It didn't turn out too well. He tried to tranquilize her, but she only turned around and nearly took his bitch head off. Then the old man, somehow not dead, grabs her and tosses her through the window. Well, he tried to anyway, his arm kinda fell off and dropped her in the window. That was a bloody fucking mess. Roulette gets up and then goes back down, the old guy punched him back and he fell down the stairs, knocks his stupid head on the concrete and goes out like a light.

Well that just left me and old No-Name hangin' around, watchin' the action throug the broken window. He looks in at us and I see that his face is pretty fucked up. All scarred and shit, wrinkled and lookin' like some strips of flesh is missin'. He grins at us, revealing that most of his teeth are gone and the ones that ain't are black and rotten, just like his gums. He laughs, then walks out of view and we see the front door close. I walk over and check it out, and the fucker's just gone.

While I was busy contemplating about what kind of crazy fuck shows up looking like death, knocks out our dudes and then is nice enough to close the door before he goes, we hear some gunshots coming from the inner rooms. We go in, check that shit out, find Hansel and Gretel and a whole shit-ton of bullet holes all around. They was guarding the Book, which I check up on and see that all seems to be in order. Apparently the old guy walked in through the closet and... actually, they couldn't really agree on what happened after that. Cadence says he lunged at them and they just shot at him, but somehow the bullets were just missing him. And then he sliced both their heads off. Arpeggio says he just strolled in, the lights went out and then she was gettin' impaled on her own gun like she was the sheriff's daughter and Michael Myers came to call

Obviously neither of these can be correct, what with them both being not dead.

Or at least, we don't think so. We seem to have deduced the identity of our mysterious stalker. The Dying Gentleman. Like the Boss, only without a body, so he possesses folks. And then they die and shit. So not really like the Boss all that much really. It makes sense now why we kept seeing different people around, he kept using up his hosts. Though we're not sure why he was using this most recent one for so long, it seems he pretty well used that one all up. The disappearing act he kept pulling was just hopping through the City. That at least might've been obvious. It would've also seemed obvious that he was comin' for the Book, except that he had the damn thing right in his sight and decided not to grab it. We're... not altogether sure what to make of that.

There are new pages in the A̺̱͑̈́̃͂̂́r̵̯̠̮͙͎̯̗͑͊͒͐̂́͝ͅc͗ͣ̌͐ͯ̑ͥ̀ͧ͏͏̞̠̬̩h̴̤ͪͣͩͣ͘͞i̢̡̲̬͙̝͓̲̥̓ͫͅv̶̵̡͖͔̰͉ͬ̉ͭ̈́ȩ̮͕̯̽ͪ̐ now. Things I can actually read without whatever supernatural shit is in that thing getting all up inside my head. Not that it would matter, but it doesn't match with anything I read in it before. Der Ritter. The Guardians of the Bloody Prophet. 666. The Scarlet Knights. The Dying Man. The Beast. Exit Light. Black Leaves. The Aperture.
Roulette broke the fucking thing, I'm having trouble holding it together now. It only works so long as I can't remember. She's trying to break it down too. The Wooden Bitch. I've seen what she's sending through the TV. Couldn't get at us in person with the Master showing up every time she tries shit.
Legacy's a doomed man. He stayed with the delusion right up until the end, couldn't understand why his body wouldn't fit back together after the Red Man cut him in half. Maybe he was just a bit more gone than normal though, lying there in a puddle of his own blood as the darkness slowly came and devoured him. The twins fared somewhat better at least. Cadence never even got to see what took him out when one of the puppets came from behind and chopped off the top of his head. Arpeggio was with Madi at the very end; somehow they'd managed to crawl out of the explosion, but then the crows came and picked off what was left of their flesh. The Master stood by and watched as they expired. He didn't think much of the Scarlet Specter's devotion to her messiah, so he repaid her for the death of his minions with the death of hers.
A hundred corpses filled the town by the time it was all over. Bodies rendered limb from limb, bleeding and burnt, a last look of terror stuck on their fucking traitorous faces. I could hear their screams echo from out of hell. The streets ran red with blood.
Fuck, did I actually just say that?
No-Name received such a terribly dull end. A stray bullet caught him in the back and pierced his heart. Kind of ironic I suppose, since he'd been invested in carving out the heart of the Black Knight's accomplice when it hit. Roulette had been facing the Black Knight, but he really should've learned how to fight. Poison doesn't do so well against a gun. Or maybe it was that gaping hole that his intestines were hanging out of. That could've been what did him in. Sullivan... well he just got fucked in the end.
Is that how it went? Maybe I only read them in my head after all.
I should stop.

So that's been our week. How 'bout the rest of y'all, how are you fuckers? Keepin' it frosty I hope.

IHe really shouldn't have done that.
Roulette's a real motherfucker, ain't he? I apologize, I don't know what came over me. Lettin' that asswipe write on my blog, I musta been high. Actually, that's not an entirely improbable... thing that could've happened. I think the psychotic bitch has been slippin' shit into my drinks. She totally wants me. I'd be flattered normally, but with her there's a very likely possibility that I'd wake up in the morning and find myself dead. Dead Ridleys are the enemy. We don't like dead Ridleys.

All you violent, insane, proxy-killing runners can just shut the fuck up. Nobody likes you. That's how we're different. I have fans. You jelly.

But let's get into the meat of the story, shall we. The reason I'm here now. Legacy's missing. He went out to take care of some business a few days ago and nobody's seen him since. We've noticed that the guy stalking us has been coming closer since Legacy's been gone. Death's Head went psycho (well for her I guess that's really completely normal) and went out after him. This time he actually stuck around to fight her. Or rather, he stuck around to let her beat the shit outta him. She got real excited when he didn't react at all to getting stabbed in the chest. Thought that meant she'd get to fuck him up pretty bad before he finally bit it. And she proceeded to do so pretty well; but when he still didn't react at all to anything she did, she started gettin' pissed. Then he knocked her to the ground.

By this time, Roulette had gone out after her. He's appointed himself leader in Legacy's absence and said he couldn't let the bitch get out of control. Bit late for that, but alright. Roulette punches the guy, but gets thrown down like he was a dummy. I thought this shit had gone on too long and decided that a shot right between the eyes would serve as a nice finish to things. I would've done so too, but the dude looks up at me then and... well fuck, I just couldn't move. There was something with his eyes. They were just wrong, not human. His face was wrong too, though that could've just been the fact that he'd been stabbed there several dozen times. Except that he wasn't bleeding, least not that I could see. I heard the fucker laugh and then I wake up to find myself dead thrown unceremoniously up against the wall of Legacy's office where the rest of the folk were meeting about stuff.

We're going to have to alter the plan now. I think I know which one of these fuckers is sending off information to the Order. If I can just manage to gather enough energy to get out...

I caught the gist of it. The dude appeared inside the complex, outside the room where Legacy locked up the Book. Cadence and Arpeggio were on guard duty and saw him just walk in and then jump out the window before they could do anything. Oh, and there's just one other small matter. Really, not hardly worth mentioning. He's dead. Jumped out the window, it was the third floor, he went splat. Roulette checked over the body, because I guess being an ex-assassin somehow makes you a certified coroner, and he says the guy's been dead for at least a week. When I said he went splat, he really did. The body's already got a couple weeks worth of decaying done, and there's hardly a drop of blood left in it.

With these bits of solid evidence, we believe we now know the identity of our mysterious stalker friend. It's just lovely really how-

All been washed in black?

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Go down, like some disgraced cosmonaut

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Just like the pied piper...

Ladies and gentlemen, I am... just... what the fuck?

I really don't know how to describe the events that have just taken place. Am I the only person here thinking rationally anymore? 'Cause if that's that's the case, we're all totally fucked.

That little delivery Oblivion was going on about? Well, it has arrived. And LORD, what it had to go through to get here. First of all, let's discuss Oblivion's chosen method for conveying said package to Wyoming from wherever the fuck he happens to be. Does he send it in the mail? With UPS? FEDEX? Naw, he decides to use those courier assholes who think a clever blog title is making a pun out of an Elvis song. And who does fatboy send, but the team doctor. Of course. As you can see, the situation could only get worse from this point.

And so it did. She was given instructions to deliver the package right to me. As if Oblivion actually though I was gonna pick it up. Man, I was watching some shitty movie on the hotel TV, I wasn't goin' to no fucking dropoff point to meet some doctor. But hey, it seems that if I wasn't gonna do it, there are plenty of people in this town who would be more than eager to get their hands on it. Well who the fuck would want to take something from a man who types like CAPTAIN NIPSALOT? I'm glad you asked, ladies and gentlemen, because it allows me introduce our first challenger. Guess who finally got his lazy ass back from Indiana. Took ya long enough. I mean what the hell, did you walk the whole way here?...

So what's the first thing our good ol' buddy Lucifer decides to do upon reaching his destination? After that bitch-fit he threw in his post, one might expect him to come straight for me and kick my ass, right? No, of course not. He decides to ambush Doc and try to steal the package. Why? Fuck if I know. I'll be sure to ask him as soon as... well, I'm getting ahead of myself here. So he jumps Doc, catching her off-guard and actually manages to abscond with the goods. At this point it perhaps becomes evident the wisdom of not entrusting such a delivery to the postal service. I mean, I could be wrong, but I don't think postmen typically react to mail-thieves by attacking them with a knife. And hypodermic needles. Lucy wasn't expected to have the tables turned, and after a brief struggle, he gets his ass knifed. And injected with shit. Oh, the lawlz!

That's quality TV right there.

If you will allow me to continue, you shall learn that this was not to be the only spot of trouble our intrepid courier would run into. Oh no. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to our second challenger. Re-introduce that is, as it's someone I'm sure you all remember well. He's loyal, determined, hunts Slenderproxies, and has all sorts of other undesirable traits. Yeah, it's that CRUSADER asshole that was following me before and who is the reason I ended up in Wyoming in the first place. He apparently was not lying about having tracked me down. Well, he made to the right town anyway. I still don't know the fucker's name, so I'm just gonna call him Douchebag. Sounds appropriate don't you all agree?

Douchebag goes for the Doc, but it seems that one ambush was enough for one day, 'cause she was able to dodge him this time. Not that he was gonna give up. "I AM CRUSADERDOUCHE! IT IS MY SACRED DUTY TO RID THE WORLD OF ALL SUITS AND THOSE WHO WORSHIP THEM!" I imagine he was yelling something like that during the fight. He did manage to shoot the Doc apparently, though I hear he got his shit fucked up pretty bad as well. Then who should return to the fray but Lucy, pumped full of so many tranquilizers that one wonders how he's even standing. But does that deter him? Seriously, didn't I just say he was returning to the fray? Open your damn ears and you might hear something, sheesh. Time for a sexy three-way it seems.

At this point, it's just amazing that this has gone on as long as it has, but it couldn't last forever. After that whole police shooting thing, they've been on high alert or something, so naturally somebody (eventually) noticed there were three lunatics trying to kill each other in the street. Honestly, that's just incompetence. A few cops surrounded them and started yelling and at this point my sources become blurry, but it seems Doc managed to slip away before they started shooting. Or maybe the crazy lady running off is what they started shooting at? I don't know. I imagine Douchebag managed to get away since I've not heard anything about that. What I have heard about is that Lucifer got his drugged-up ass thrown in jail. Who's the idiot now, huh, you little bitch?

Well, Doc continues onwards to the dropoff point, y'know, the place I was not at. Oh, but interesting twist: I was there and I was waiting for her to arrive. I don't know how that happened, because like I mentioned before, I was in the hotel enjoying me some Smokey and the Bandit. However I ended up at the dropoff, it made me miss the end of the movie, so I'm kinda pissed.

Okay, okay, let's wrap this thing up, eh? So I'm suddenly standing there all confused like, when Doc shows up lookin' like hell and shoves the package at me. Then she starts talking really fast, relating to me all the details about what happened on her way there. She actually had me interested, with the distant look in her eye, the blood dripping from her sleeve into a puddle on the ground. She kind of stuttered as she told her story and her face was all pale like the blood was all drained out of it. I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda hot.

So I was gonna offer to let her chill back at the pad so's she could recover a bit. After all, I am nothing if not a gentleman. But she cut me off saying something about how she needed to cut our meeting short (I think she'd been talking for about twenty minutes at that point) and that she had to run off. And well, she ran off. I was amazed she could even stand, let alone move that quickly.

And now ladies and gents, it is time for the unveiling. What was this incredibly important thing that was so important that I was moved outside and across town to retrieve it from the zombie of a deliverydoctor? It's a book. A fucking book. How is this supposed to help me? I don't know, I can't even read the damned thing. I'm pretty sure this isn't even a human language in here. This whole ordeal is retarded, I even considered apologizing to Doc for having to waste her time with this shit. Oblivion, we need to meet face to face. So I can hit your face. The fuck is wrong with you?

For that matter, what the fuck is wrong with everybody? I should go nab Lucifer from the jail. Eh, he can spend the night there, I'll get him tomorrow. Or whenever I feel like it. I think I might just go for a stroll through the park tomorrow. Maybe kidnap some people, I don't know. Depends on my mood.

Remain chillin' my peeps, I'll catch you all later. And hopefully the next time things are going apeshit, I shall be the one causing it.

I found my friends; they're in my head

So I'm sure y'all have seen my last post already. If you haven't, shame on you for not keeping up with my blog! As if anything in your own life could possibly be more interesting than what's going on in mine! I mean that's why blogging was invented in the first place, so that all you dull, uninteresting people can read about those of us with better lives. So quit jerking off to reality TV and read about some real reality. Real reality, heh.

I digress. So I'm sure y'all have seen my last post already. I think I kinda went a little batshit fucking crazy. Because Madi not only shot a police officer, she SHOT A POLICE OFFICER WHILE STANDING IN FULL VIEW OF ABOUT A HALF-DOZEN OTHER POLICE OFFICERS. Did I make that clear enough? Oh, but wait. I didn't get to the best part yet. She also GOT PHOTOGRAPHED BY THE FUCKING NEWSPAPER. That's right, now everyone in town can know what the cop-murdering bitch looks like. And of course there was that other gruesome scene only a few days ago. What was that again? Something about some teenager being ripped open and dumped on some other teenager's front step? Eh, it'll come to me eventually.

Anyway yeah, they're connecting her to that as well. Which I guess isn't technically incorrect. She is connected to it. But I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma about the whole thing. I mean I'm not really comfortable letting someone else take the credit for my work. Then again, I'm not really comfortable with the idea of prison and uninvited man-sex, either. I'm havin' a real problem with this whole thing, homies.

Then there's the fact that she claims she doesn't remember doing it at all. According to her, she fell asleep back in the hotel while I was on stake-out duty and woke up outside, well I'll get to that. I'm actually kind of inclined to believe her. Besides the obvious fact that even I'm not that fucking retarded, there's the fact that she just disappeared right in front of them. Uh, sorry, did I forget to mention that too? Yeah, someone shot back at her and she ran off with a couple cops in pursuit. They wind up in an alley, Madi runs through a door, which she closes behind her; the police come right up, open the door and find- a vast empty warehouse. All huge and open, echo-y and shit, so nowhere she could of hidden herself. She was just gone.

Of course when I became aware of the situation (which was about right when it happened... 'cause like I said, I was on stake-out duty) I went off after her, careful to remain hidden using my mysterious methods for remaining unseen by muggles. About an hour later I found her asleep a little ways outside town, next to some old barn. She claims she only remembers being at the hotel and then me waking her up next a barn outside of town. It sounds to me like the Empty City, but she couldn't have used it on her own. She's not technically a servant of TallDarkSlender, so by all rights the City should just eat her if she was by herself. Which would imply that one of the other entities was involved. How about that 'OBLIVION' fella, he seems to be able to do some wicked shit. I'm awfully suspicious of the fucker.

And now I'm stuck trying to figure out how to fix this. Let the good times roll.

Oh hey, y'all see Entry #49? Fuck yeah! Kralie might look like a real pussy, but I always knew he was a total badass! Blood and brains being beaten out, that's what I like to see. And he always threw the best damn parties, too. Shame he hasn't been around lately. Probably off getting drunk at the Ark, the lucky bastard.

Stay frosty, y'all.

EDIT: My my, how absent minded of me, I almost forgot about this little number that was left in the comments:

"So, how are you doing Mr. Chapman? Taking care of yourself, I hope? I thought I'd stop by for a visit. You're always extending an invitation for people to come see you, after all. We really must catch up, mustn't we?"

From our Crusader friend. How lovely. Bet you think you're real cute, don't you? I don't even wanna know how you found out that name. I can think of a few ways you could've done it, and most of them mean Imma have to kill you.

Okay, you caught me, I was gonna kill you anyway, but now I might have to stretch it out so I can enjoy it longer. If you really are in town, you'd better keep extra frosty asshole.

'Cause I need to watch things die (not) from a distance

At last! It begins. The bodies hit the floor. And it is glorious! Mwhahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Now I did mention that Miss Shawe was a bit antisocial, didn't I? Well, it seems that was sort of Master's fault. But only a little. She was never really much of a people person, but she apparently did have a few friends which she then dropped when Master showed up. Probably to keep 'em safe or some stupid shit like that. Silly girl, thinking she can keep things hidden from Master and me. Why am I telling y'all this? Heh, as if you couldn't guess.

Come here, you naughty girl; you're such a tease

Poor little Becky. Such a sweet, caring young woman. She was very concerned about her friend's increasingly odd behaviour, even moreso when Miriam had started avoiding her all the time, stopped answering her phone. Well, she just had to find out what was wrong with her dear old friend and if Miriam wouldn't come to her, she'd just go to her. A mistake, ladies and gentlemen, that's what we call that. If she had stayed away like a good little stupid teenager, then maybe we wouldn't have gotten her. This soon.

So what had happened was, she's just walkin' along down the street, headin' to Miriam's house. Of course I was out stalkin' an' shit, and I recognized her. As I've said, I do my homework, I know who people are. And well, I just can't allow an opportunity such as this to pass me by, so I do what any good proxy would do in such a situation. I'm sure you all can figure it out, but I'll tell you anyway. I killed her. What, you thought I was gonna go into detail? Fine. I slit her throat. You want more? You sick, sick bastards, you oughtta be ashamed of yourselves.

After a brief detour through ways unseen by muggles, I and the body arrived on Miss Miriam's doorstep. Here, I proceeded to slice open the abdomen and toss a few of the organs into the hedges. Allowing ample amounts of blood spill onto the porch, I then propped her up against the door, so as to fall inside the house when the door was opened. I rang the doorbell before cutting out. Ah, the screams, I do so love the screams. They're almost musical.

I must admit to having never really enjoyed such flashy methods of execution and disposal. In my old line of work, one was more apt just leaving them in a ditch or a cheap motel room. Y'know, inconspicuous and whatnot. But I try to do what I can when I have the chance. Oh, and the effect was marvelous! Methinks she'll have a hard time ignoring us now. Hey, come out and play.

Oh, and Lucifer... Keep the fuck outta my shit, dawg. You and Oblivion both. Geez, I'm tired of seeing that ugly red text all over everything, making my sexy blog look all nasty.

Looks like I'll be leaving you there peeps, Madi's callin' me about something. Dammit woman, stop yelling at me! Jeezus...

Now to all my adoring fans out there, keep frosty. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight.
Maybe I should turn off the ipod for awhile?

1318

why it nno doess    stop?? ?/

mmmmmmasssster  i mmuch   sory i tell lyiou  
             tellm mprimncess   iis much vrey very sorry  u i tell u masater that isi no gfvood forf to punish rildey no more rdliey is um good boy no for t ohurrgt pppeoples nom ooer i is much ot of very good u see ridley bve good boy nmnaster

riddles be a very good boy youll see ill show you master just you watch no more it burns any more master youll see see riddley shalal be kept frosty once more do not for to hurt rildey more masster am to be forgive much master sorry plase do

Why the hell does shit like this always happen to a brother, huh? Can't a guy just for once catch a damn break? Jeezus, you get hired to kill people, and then He punishes you for trying to kill people! Well excuse me if I thought the little pussy was just annoying and I didn't want to listen to the sound of his blogposts anymore. I still personally think it'd be a favour to us all...

ridleu will be ggood masdtr uyo see rildey nbo fail you again master

do good rwork now ridldey shall yes master much r ildey will d o to atone for gthe own    misatkes of ridley

riddles not shal l fial master again

I mean, really. Why did I kill that creepy little brat? 'Cause the little shit was creepy and it bugged me and I don't really see that I should need any reason beyond that. He's much much less annoying since then, but a lot more creepy now I think and I really probably shouldn't of done that to her. Oh quit staring at me before I have to get my gun. Anyways, ain't like there's much to do about it now is there? Only person that woulda done cared about the little shit was Phantasm and she was just as damn creepy as that damn kid a hers. Now fuck off, all of you.

rdidles can se ethe dead as  wwhat become has of ridleys amdness

death for i swhat onyl thing            ridles  has done wiht ever

dno longggger foes ridley wish for   ridlys onw self to    caseu deat hhh for enmites of rilsey

Alright, damn, I mean yeah there's lots of fucked up shit around here. Ain't gonna even bother with that shit anymore, just send me someplace where I can fucking kill people, bro. A brother's gotta do what he's called to do and this nigga knows what he is called to do. We operate, baby. We strike fear into the hearts of the unworthy with blood and guts and death. And it is good. C'mon dawg, I think you'd be excellent. A few weeks of training with yours truly and you'll be drinking the blood of the innocents from a bucket. Maybe, but really, do you have a better one? I didn't think so. I'll talk to Archy, I'm sure he can come up with something. Sure, sure, don't mention it, baby.

Say, you ever get that feeling that something ain't quite right?


YOU MEAN LIKE, RIGHT NOW, RIDLEY-BOY?


Uh, yeah. Exactly like that.













NO, THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU DID IT WRONG, DUMBASS. NOT ENTIRELY WRONG, MOST PEOPLE DO IT THE SAME. FUCK IT. YOU'RE WRONG. I'M GOING TO FIX YOUR DAMN MISTAKE NOW AND WE'LL SEE HOW THIS GOES. YOU FUCKTARD.

Boston

Fuck Boston, man, this town is bullshit. My peeps have been hard at work trailing those two bastards for me. They're keepin' to public areas, crowded places. Mighty unsporting of them, isn't it? If this keeps up we may have to resort to some rather drastic measures to get them moving again... then again, I do have that nice sniper rifle I got from that soldier a while back, could just blow the fuckers away while safely on the rooftops. Heh, safe on the rooftops, stupid runners.

In the meantime I had decided to look up some pal of mine. Y'all know this guy, dontcha? Well, maybe you don't, but he's been fucking around tryin' to get all up in the Princess' business. I figured hey, I'm in Boston anyway, this son a bitch needs taught a lesson, and I need to hit someone. It's like God himself just handed me the perfect opportunity here. So I track him down, and this dumbass is nice enough to be walking around out in some empty construction zone so's we can conduct our business in private. I do love a team player. I call out to him and he turns around with the dumbest look on his face, asks me who I am. Well I'm all like, "Hey now dawg, you know me right, I mean I thought we were real close man. It's me, yo favorite frosty troll, Uncle Riddles. Now c'mon an gimme hug eh?"

Twas only tryin' to be friendly, y'know, but he just stands over there looking like a dumbass. Then he asks me about Storyboy's brother, an I'm just like shoot, I thought we got over this a long time ago peoples, really the little bitch was an irritation and was wasting good air. Whatever, let's move on. I told him how the situation was, the Master is an eternal creature, sometimes he gots to have some lovin'. You don't wanna get in the way of that do you, I mean c'mon on that's just rude. He gets all pissed off then and yells at me, says I should tell Archy to keep away from her. Yeah right. I reminded him then that, even if our glorious Boss, our ever-lovin' Mr. Slender cannot see him, I can still carve you up like a Christmas ham. I decided to be nice for once and make him an offer before I killed him. Come over an' join the party, bro.

He declined, of course, so I was left with no other option now but to go and fuck his shit up. Then he decides to comment about my jacket. I kindly responded by introducing his face to my fist. I follow up with a blow to the ribcage, then one to the stomach. Little pussy tries to hit me back, he ain't lyin' when he says he ain't no fighter. I pound on this asshole for a couple minutes and I'm starting to feel pretty good. All is right in the world, and the stress of work is just melting away. Then he has to be a dickhole and ruin it for me; must've put all his damn strength into that kick, and right on my kneecap too. He bolts into this warehouse nearby, I decide it's time to quit fuckin' around and just gut the loser.

So he actually stuck some shit in front of the door like that would stop me any, I get inside, I'm lookin around for him, and eventually I'm getting pretty tired of this little game of hide n seek. Then I hear this noise from up above and there's a damn crate falling on me. The little bitch knocked a crate over on top of me. Man, that shit probably weighed a few hundred pounds an' you just push it over on me. What the hell, bro? I thought we were cool. Well, it was kinda tight in there so's I couldn't really get completely outta the way and the damn thing just misses my head and comes down on my shoulder. Damn that's not fun, and I think I got shot there not too far back too. Thing's all broken, all outta place and stuff. Didn't even manage to catch the little pussy cause he booked on over to the train then.

So my weekend didn't exactly go as planned. Unfortunate, but whatever. I'm headin' into town later to have a little chat with my prey. Doc says I need to chill, but fuck that.

Stay frosty y'all. We're always watching.

Whassup y'all?

Those damn runners are slippery bitches, I'll give 'em that.


So what happens is, I track these bastards down to a hotel a little bit outside of Who-the-fuck-cares, Massachusetts. Did I spell that right? Eh, who cares. Lucky I was to be able catch them just before they were about to leave too. Keep in mind we is in some crap little hicktown in the middle of fucking nowhere so it's not like there's exactly... well, people around. So that's lucky y'know since I would have to catch 'em in the parking lot before they could reach their car. I tackled the dude to the ground and just about managed to slice open his throat when the sister smacks me with a tire iron. My fault for not thinking that bitch would try something, but she's never done anything before. Fuck that bitch.


Dave gets up and reaches for his gun, but no-no, can't allow that can we? Did I mention that I'm an expert knife-thrower? Well I'm not, but I can at least chuck one at a person and make it stick in their arm. Enough of a distraction to allow me to get to my feet and rush this nigga for a tackle. That's right, I said nigga. Twice now. Sissy tries to hit me with that tire iron again but hell, ain't nobody gets ol' Ridley with the same trick twice. Grabbed that thing and twisted it out of her grip, beaned her bro with it. Would've worked lovely had not the bastard, while momentarily surprised, had by this time removed my knife from his shoulder and promptly stabbed me with it as I conked him. Dammit, puttin' that bloody knife into my arm, that's just rude and unsanitary. Bitch. At least I hit him I guess, but the sonuvabutch moved over enough that I only glanced the side of his head. I hope that welt hurts like hell for the next few days. Until I find you again, you bitch.


So asshole-Dave was briefly incapacitated, to a small degree, might as well go in for the kill. Waitaminutenow, last time I forgot about our dear little sis I got a tire iron to the skull. That shit hurts. So where the fuck did she disappear to now? Well, I'm lookin' all over and I ain't seein' a sign of her. Too bad bitch, looks like sissy has left you to die. A smart move, even though I should inevitably catch up to her again. Dammit, these cocksuckers really piss me off. I get my gun out right, I'm about to shoot this bastard. Wait, what's that noise? Oh shit. I really should have remembered the fucking car. Sissy tries to run me down and naturally I get the fuck out of the way because, y'know, I can't fight a goddamn car. Well that's just plain fightin' dirty as far as I'm concerned and I will NOT be had in such a manner. She's helping her bro into the car now, I have a clear shot, so I take it. Excellent. Hit her the shoulder, she gets knocked back into the vehicle, smacks her head on the side of the car. Now to take car of asshole. What's this? He's got his gun now? No matter, he's still dizzy can't shoot a damn... well fuck.


So I jump out of the way, ain't a damn thing to take cover behind cause, we're in the middle of fucking nowhere and they were the only people at the hotel. I run towards the building, shooting behind me as a go, and duck around the corner. I hear him pull her back into the car and speed off. Shit. That was quite a disgraceful display if I do say so myself. So I went around back and stole the owner's car to chase after 'em. I think I deserve the car more than the owner anyway; apparently doesn't hear any of this shit goin' down right outside, but does hear his car start. Then he comes outside, with a shotgun, and shoots at me. In his car. Good thing the old bastard was an absolutely terrible shot, I mean how do you just completely miss a big ol' SUV with a shotgun?


Well, at any rate I appear to have lost my targets for the moment. No matter I'm pretty sure I know where they're headin'. Boston's a big place though, I may have to actually put an effort into finding 'em this time. Dammit, I hate real work. Oh well, I've got me some friends in Boston to help out. And in the meantime, I think I know what to do while I wait.


Stay frosty y'all. We're always watching.