I've been too long, I'm glad to be back

Greetings all.

You've missed me right? Tell me you've fucking missed me. 'Cause I've missed you guys, I really have. My frosty brothas, just hangin' up in this joint. And fuck have we had some good times, amiright?

Well, in truth, there's quite a few a ya'll that  I don't believe I recognize. Probably seen you around the blagosphere here and there, I'm sure, but fuck, nobody ever commented on this thing when I was around. Do you really like the other guy better? That makes a sad Ridley.

Of course, I haven't introduced myself to you yet. And I know he sure as fuck didn't. It's just fucking goof around and shoot things, all the fucking time with that bastard. I'm so ashamed of myself sometimes. Anyway, I'm Ridley, nice to meet you. For realz like. That other guy is Ridley too, but I'm the suave charming bastard, whereas he is the crazy psychotic bastard. I don't hold it against him though, I love myself as much as I love myself. You know how it is.

I just wanted to pop in to say a few things to ya'll. Firstly, this guy is back. You know him, you love him, you probably thought he was a gigantic douche. That's right, my old buddy Iscabibble Archy. Err, Coronado, as he calls himself now. He brought the crazy bitch as well, unfortunately. And the traitor bastard. But we finished him off right quickly we did.

Let me back up a bit. We was just sittin', chillin' mindin' our own business. When this guy in a big black coat and hood shows up, and I could tell he was up to no good. Didn't want him makin' trouble in my neighborhood. So I go over and start kickin' his ass. Or get Hazendorf to do it. He didn't do well. I figured I couldn't just let the bastard kill him, so I jumped in myself then. He revealed his identity then, as that asshat Sullivan who sold us all out to that retarded Redlight cult a few months back. So I stabbed in the face. Priest doesn't like the sovereign to be left alone, you know? He didn't take kindly to that gesture, and responded by attempting to break my nose, following up with a preemptive rebuttal to my abdomen with his foot. He then drew his own blade and stalked towards me ready to kill, all the time muttering about something stupid (I mean, I couldn't make it out, but what else would he be talking about?). Then his neck exploded. He collapsed to the ground, and I could see Archy and Death's Head standing some ways off, Head lowering her gun to shoot him again while he was down. And so she did. And Ed Sullivan was dead, and America mourned. The End.

The fuck am I talking about?

Archy's in pretty bad shape at the moment. We don't really know what exactly he's been doing for the last... half a year, and his new blog isn't giving us that many clues. Seems he was/is losing his mind. Bound to happen eventually, I s'pose.

Doc fucking just disappeared now. This shit's gone on long enough. It's time to figure out exactly just what the fuck has been going on all this time.

Stay frosty.

Tangled abstract fallacy; random turmoil builds in me

I'm not really completely sure what's going on.

So Doc thinks I'm slacking off. Or hiding shit. Whatever, he can just go fuck himself because fuck him.

Now y'see, what had happened was, we go down to Salieri's to, y'know, kick some ass, take some names, maybe steal the bossman's membership card to the country club. They stopped letting me in there when they found out the guy who was letting us in had died a couple weeks back. And my game has been suffering for it, I really need to get back on the green and practice. But that is neither here nor there, let us get back on topic.

But anyway, I'll try to make this quick, since some people apparently are lazy and can't be bothered to read all of the oh-so-long posts that I make. Since we already found out that Salli was able to pinpoint where we opened the Path, and his muggle security systems where top-notch, we decided to take a different approach. We called back Doc. None of us knows where the hell he gets his voodoo powers from, and we figured nobody else would either. So we thought it'd be safe to send him in.

While in the course of breaking and entering, Doc managed to track down just exactly the information we needed. What intelligence we had managed to gather seemed to indicate that Salli had been putting a lot of time into a secret little pet project; even moreso since that first disaster. So that was what Doc went to check out. And a good thing he did too. Upon cracking into the records for the project Doc was astonished to find information of a most compromising nature. For our side!

In those files was contained forbidden knowledge of the most vile and disgusting sort imaginable. There were methods for evading and escaping the Big Man, including ways to sense when He was around and ways to hide oneself from His vision. It even held descriptions of certain mystical items and weapons which could be used to harm Him. All manner of horrible and appalling things. It was thought that all such information had been destroyed not long after the initial reports about the Big Man were leaked onto the web. There was an incident early you see, where one of the bloggers stumbled onto the information from a previous hunted who had stolen it from one of those stupid cults. Luckily, neither of them had really known how to properly use the information and they were taken care of and the blog passed off as a failed ARG attempt. 'Cause that was how we rolled back then.

This sick and perverted knowledge was of course quickly destroyed for good. It did prove useful, however, in providing us with the information we needed to bypass Salli's bypassing of the perception filter, turn it back on him, break in, kill his guards, and get into his office. He was not so pleased to see us just barge in on him like that. Now, our goal from the beginning had been to kill Salli. That was after all why Jonas hired us. Or so we thought. However, there was still one piece missing. It seems that Salli had actually gotten his hands on one of those mystical weapons I mentioned above. We had to get our hands on that as well, naturally, and for this end Doc brought Madi back. He had been training her the ways of bullshit Nazi voodoo bullshit and felt it was time to give her a chance to test her skills.

And Archy kind of insisted we bring her. Because he just calls up and gives us random orders sometimes, whatever. Of course, something got fucked up, the twins ended up shooting Salieri before Doc could get the information he wanted, and Madi, along with two of my boys from the old squad, were killed by guards. We managed to get the artifact and get out, but Doc wasn't too happy about Glorianna trying to get rid of him like she did. But it wasn't all bad. We got back the weapon and destroyed it. And because I asked Him very nicely, Slendy Bendy killed Jonas for me. You don't need to know why, just because you love me.

All things considered, I'd say it wasn't nearly so bad as Doc made it out to be. Legacy didn't even turn up like we'd half-expected him to do, and another day without being chased by death is a good one in my Book.

Did that go on too long? Tough shit.

Hey. Been a while ya'll. Fingers crossed folks, I just might be able to get out for a spell if I can time this right. Keep it frosty peeps.

Do as you are told and maybe then we'll let you out

A day or two, I said. Or, y'know, maybe four. It's not like we're in China or anything, so four is good, right?

I must apologize, my peeps, I did not intend to be gone for such a period, but there was business to be taken care, y'know. Quite unavoidable. But then I didn't really expect those guys to be able to see through a perception filter. That's not the kind of thing you can just pick up on the street. Salieri must've paid an assload for 'em.

See, what had happened was, Jonas wanted us to take out his competition, a distinguised gentleman who goes by the name of Salieri. I'm not making this shit up, I swear that's actually his name. Salieri has been gettin' up in Jonas' business lately, and as you can imagine, the bossman was none too happy about that. A simple job really, used to handle this kind of shit all the time, maybe not folks in such a high position, but important people nonetheless.

We had a nice setup. Very simple. Have the twins shoot the bastard from the roof, use the Path to get out. Nice, quick, no problem. Of course unforeseen problems had to arise. Namely the fact that one of Salieri's bodyguards found our snipers the moment they arrived and security was on it soon enough. Which brings me to the point I brought up above. We had them filtered, just as a little extra precaution, but that didn't seem to bother security much. Well, most of the guards were confused and couldn't find their targets, but there were enough that apparently could see through the filter that we had to get out of there. Arpeggio got out fine through the Path, but Cadence got nabbed by security quick and Glorianna had to go in and pull him out.

Yeah cos, I'm gonna keep using your real name on here. What the fuck are you gonna do about it?

Oh, she also wasn't very happy that I called her back out here just to act as backup. I don't know what she's bitching about, she ended up getting to go in and fight shit anyway.

What's that? You say you don't think that what I described could've possibly filled four whole days? Well fuck you, that's the story you're gettin', you spoiled little asshole. And I'm not gonna tell you my secret now. 'Cause it's fucking awesome and amazing and it makes me look like the baddest motherfucker on earth. And I'm fucking clever too. That's right, I figured shit out. But you don't get to know about that now, you've pissed me off. So you're just gonna have to wait until we finish this shit for realz now and maybe then I might just tell y'all about what went down. Maybe, maybe not. You'll just have to wait and see.

Stay frosty, hosers. We're always watching.

Good times, bad times; you know I've had my share

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Hey, you're crazy bitch

That whore. I'm gonna kill her.





















On another note: Glorianna, where the fuck are you? Get in contact, bitch. Doc's here and he's having a pissing fit. Apparently Mr. Jonas wants me to do another job for him. And you know how Doc gets. You should come back, we can team up again, cos. It'll be sweet.

Stay frosty.

Hang my head, drown my fear; til' you all just disappear

Hey ladies and ugly people, how do?

I'm afraid I don't have much time. We still haven't heard from Legacy, but Roulette says that with the Dying Man obviously up to something here we should go ahead with the plan as soon as possible. I may not have really mentioned the plan before, which would be because I never really got to hear what it was exactly we were going to be doing. Legacy's been working it out since before he came and got me in Wyoming. He had an informant, you see, who'd been feeding him information about what he needed to do with the Book once he'd gotten it from me. A rather annoying informant who speaks in red text and all caps and who seems to think hacking my blog is a fun recreational activity. Well, he did, before he ended up all dead. Or something. Either way he's been quiet for a long time, so here's hoping.

That's how Legacy got all that information about the Book and OBLIVION, I guess? Don't know why the fucker would care about telling one of us all that, since he was apparently trying to get rid of the Boss, but whatever the fuck. We're going to the corporate office of Crazy Ass Shit Unlimited. For some of my newer readers, who may not recall my previous adventures with Iscariot, that would be the fucked up dimensionally bleeding building we ran into once or twice way back when. And OBLIVION mentioned it, I guess.

For everyone that wasn't too lazy to read through those, you can see that this is just going to be so fucking awesome. Just great. I love it, I really do.

Fucking stay frosty, motherfuckers.

Dead I am the pool, spreading from the fool

Shit, motherfucking hell...

Saturday... Saturday Saturday Saturday. Saturn's Day. The Sabbath. The seventh day of the week.

There were some events that transpired that day. Wherever shall I begin? Well I suppose the logical course of action would be to begin chronicling from where I left off the last time. By last time, I mean of course when I was actually writing shit that was coherent, and not when I was doing this. Also who the fuck wrote that? Come on, fess up motherfuckers.

Well anyhow, Legacy and his merry band of super-assholes launched an invasion of Crusader's secret grocery store compound. It actually went fairly simple; the assholes had already attempted to destroy the Book. I'm sure ya'll remember how well that's gone before. Two more of their dudes killed, which left them with but four to defend their sacred food mart and the tome of satanic literature that was hidden away at its core. Legacy was not playing games with those motherfuckers this time though, and they went down, though sadly without any casualties. Apparently they decided that it wasn't worth having their whole little team here wiped out over Abdul Alhazred's Book of Bedtime Stories. Also apparently, they decided it would make much more sense to just let the enemy get inside and then bomb them into oblivion. Seems something went wrong there though, since only half of them went off and only the ones that weren't on the same side of the building as Legacy's team. Suspiciously lucky, huh?

So there at least we got some manner of a break. The rest of the day... was much more eventful. For instance: that last post? Pretty sure I made that sometime in the midst of Master and Puppetslut tearing up the place. Legacy arrives back and tells us to start packing shit up quick so we can start moving out. So we's all in the middle of doing that when Roulette calls out something to Legacy, which is followed by him crashing through the door. This blonde chick walks in and points a gun at all of us, not that it was really necessary when her boss came in right behind her. The reject from Rozen's workshop just comes in all nonchalantly like she fucking owns the place, and her strings shoot out towards us... but she didn't have much of a chance to do anything 'cause the Boss showed up then and shit. got. crazy.

Needless to say, that safehouse is history, and we lost quite a bit of our stuff, but most of it was Legacy's so we're lucky that it was no great loss. We actually all made it out alright this time, all uh... ten of us. Amazing that we had almost twenty people at the start of this shit. I mean really, Master and the puppet were tearing shit up in there. We also had a minor skirmish with the Wooden Girl's servant, who I mentioned back there. Roulette had been knocked out after his trip through the door, and I ended up having to help carry the asshole out of there. The blonde chick comes out of nowhere and attacks us, actually I got the feeling she wanted me specifically, I got another nice scar all down my arm now because of her. Sullivan politely got the bitch away from me with a swift blow to the jaw and we continued dragging our comatose comrade off the battlefield.

That's sort of it, I guess. We moved to a new hideout, we be unpacking shit and shit is good so far. Not that ever lasts. I mentioned several of 'em here, so I may as well tell y'all about some of the team, I guess. I need something to do while I'm hiding out and avoiding helping with the unpacking. So besides myself, Madi, and Legacy, our ragtag group of crazy ass motherfuckers consists of:

Legacy: Well, alright I guess I'll start with him. He's a revenant and a jackass. From Angleland, I believe, though he's got the accent of a Hollywood actor who's trying too hard to sound British. Was a butcher before signing on with the Tall Guy. He doesn't do a lot different in his new line of work, lemme tell ya. He's still under the impression that he's some kind of immortal with superpowers who's been fighting the Slender fight for many decades. Actually, it's only been since about last year y'know, but I guess it's not entirely useless, since Slendy does let him get away with some crazy shit. Sometimes. Other times he just bleeds all over my freshly laundered jacket and doesn't notice it. Then again, that could also have been from him cutting off my finger. No, I'm totally not still pissed about that, why do you ask?

Cadence & Arpeggio: The other revenants I mentioned. They're twins, both snipers, and both creepy as fuck. Did I mention they're also about fourteen? Emotionless, weird ass fourteen year olds. Kinda like this, if she had a male twin and they were both expert marksmen and thought they were pretty much invincible. And real fourteen year olds aren't that sexy. I really don't know much else about them.

Sullivan: You'd think he might be the sane one in the group, I mean Sullivan's a pretty normal name, right? That's before you find out that he used to have two partners who were named Carson and... Lawrence. To be fair, I guess Welk doesn't have the same ring to it, but really if you're going to bother to come up with stupid theme naming you should bother doing it right. That said, he's really not all that bad, but he does sort of weird me out. He's rather nonviolent really, which is a bit unusual considering how all the rest of his team are.

Roulette: The actual Only Sane Man in the group, despite still having a shitty superhero-y name. The man brews a mean cup of tea and can also fix up some nice poisons to go in it. Worked as something of an assassin until about '07 when one of his targets ran into a bit of a gruesome "accident" and he got discovered. The real killer thought the guy had some Skittles though, and our boy Roulette wisely decided to hop across to the Slender side of the rainbow. I did wonder why he called himself Roulette when that doesn't really have anything to do with poison. I'll have to look into that...

Death's Head: Honestly, when a dude calls hisself Death's Head, I think they've told about all you need to know about 'em. Well, except that this one's a chick, not a dude. And she almost took my head off when I tried to talk to her. Just so we clear, I mean that quite literally. I still can't figure out where she was keeping that giant knife in that tight outfit...

No-Name: No-Name? Really? Fuck this. He's a depressing bastard. Let's just leave this with saying that Legacy has impeccable taste when it comes to choosing a team.

Oh fuck, they're looking for me now. Guess I'll have to go do "work." This is why we should have some of the mindless slaves along, so us important folk don't have to do menial labor. Oh shity483yre7ghgnbbbbbbbbbb,

Motherfuckers. Stay frosty.

All been washed in black?

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I know a secret down in Uncle Tom's cabin

So this Book. I guess I'll tell y'all about this thing. Not like I have anything better to do at the moment. No matter what Legacy might say, I see no reason to be so fucking alert all the time. I mean hell, we have been driving through these damn fields for an hour now and we ain't seen another living soul. Might have seen a couple dead ones, I'm not really sure. They could've been hiding.




The Book is called the G̢os̴p͠el͢ of͠ ͡Ec҉cle͡sius̀, also known as the B̴͜͞l҉a̢͘c̸͡k̷͡ To̶͢ḿ̛ę̷ ̸̢o̧f ͟͠͞B͏̶͟y͠z̧͏ant̢́i̷͘ư̴m̡̀, also known as the Ecclesyastical War Journal, also known as the  B̶̲̗̣̺͖̜̫͈̯͈̠͉͍͓̙̜̗̗̑̌ͨ̊̃͑͘͜ͅl̷̢̛̥̖̹̮͕̰̬̣̮̗̽́́ͦͫ̏͒̊͒̊̑͂̊̊̆̿ͦ̎͘a͈͎̹͙̥͓̟̠̱ͫͮ̅̽͂̾ͭ̚͘͢c̢̛̛̞̣̹̮̿̈̐͌̑̌ͫ̈́ͫͤ͗̾̃͝͞k̶̠̹͚̱̲̆̔ͮ͊͌͊̑̐ͧ̊̔̌́ͬ͊͋̿̑̏͜͝w̴͇̪̜̱̝͔̣͈ͩͥ̏̃ͬ̃͢e̢̡̱̜̣̬̺̼͕̻ͨ͑̅́ͮ̆̿̅̂̇̓ͧ͌ͤ̂̃̈́́̚͢͡l̴̮̯͙̜̦̗̫͔͚͈͉̯͉̜͔̬̼̲ͮ̅̃̎ͬ̂̍ͬ̈͗͊ͬ̾͆̕d̴̓̈́͆ͥ̐ͮ̓̊ͥ̅͋ͯͫ̏ͬ́̚҉̶̺̲͚̪͚̤̣͖̦͍e̶͂͊̉ͫ͒̇̌̑͛͢͠҉̱̻͓͖ŗ̷̸̴̷͖͕̬̫̯̳͙̮̱̪̥̖͙̮͖͔̘̗ͮ̌̑͊̋̂͂̑ͅ ̧̼̹̰̯̺͍̰͇̜̉̄̇̑ͩ̒ͬ̌̔̔ͬ͛ͪͩͩ̄͐ͨͩ̕ͅAͥ̾ͣͥͫ͐̊̓͆͏̹̰̻̲̹͈̦̭̪̲̪͇̝̰͟͝r̶͇̻̪̺̞̱͚̟̺̰͓̼͎̤̲̺̆̆̇͗̈̊ͦ̌́ͫͦ̇̈̾ͪ͊̋ͥ̚͝c̴̢̺̖͙͉ͣ̐͊̏̆̐̊͢ͅh̵̷̨̩͙͓͙͚͈̦̦͚͕̓ͯ͆͛ͯ̔̈́ͮͪ̾̚͡į̐ͦͬ̿͛ͩͧ̎͏̴̤̥̫̖͇̖͚͉̼̟̩̦̞̞v̸̡̨͍͓͖̫̙̖̂̈́̍̌̒ͯ͋̏̏͂̀͞e̴̵̙̯̠̤̦͎̲̟͂͛̈́́̎ͧͬ̂̚͡͠͠ also known as the Bitchinest Noodle Cookbook of the Fourth Century Monks, also known as fuck this I stopped listening to him when I realized he was still just listing off different names for the fucking Book. Huh, I keep capitalizing 'Book', I wonder what the hell's up with that? Eh, probably not important. Anyway, eventually mah nigga Legacy here actually got into some useful information. Well, depending on your definition of useful. I guess technically it is relevant to our situation. here. Essentially, what it boils down to is that the book was written by some monks like two thousand years ago in Rome. Not really monks, I guess. I wasn't really paying a whole hell of a lot of attention to this story at this point, because I don't really care all that much about some two thousand year old history. Unless it involves Jesus driving a tank into Jerusalem and demanding the Muslims kiss the asses of the Jews less he unleash his divine tank powered fury upon them. That   w0uld be pre`t_ty b̶o̴̝̯̟̻ͅs:$.

`Fuck dAmmi t% &&&&&&
__________ _____8675309==
-=__3j;asla*~~77yKLl; EW``''::{} f|D}F{ eE lpkg ;slfkg;sdlfgg4030_()e8rp3o ip4;ffgf0d-g0-s----
 cynnwys y clwb het i ddynion y meistr yn eu caru
..........//////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\





















Sorry 'bout that. Legacy's doin' something with the Path and Master just popped in. It's very inconvenient, but what can you do? He has a lot of travelin' to do after all.

Anyway. The part where I began to really become interested was when he started explaining how Oblivion is tied to all this. Wonder where that fucker is, we totally haven't seen him in a while. Apparently Oblivion actually was just a normal guy once upon a time. Then he found this Book. And he became obsessed with studying the thing. Spent many many years just trying to crack the secrets this thing holds. Of course, it drove him mad. And in his madness, the Master came to him. Apparently the Book actually sort of attracts supernatural beings to it, as well as p`eople who are connected to supernatural things, or just spend too much damn time around them. But that only works within kind of a small range. Sort of explains some things, if in a kind of retarded and lazy way, almost as though the person writing the script were getting bored. I think H̷̵́ớm͏̛e̢s͜t̨͜ų̧͢c͏͠k̸
 will still be there tomorrow, asshole. But hey, I'm not one to complain, it makes sense at least, which is more than I can say for a lot of other shit that goes on around here.

So Master finds the dude that would become Oblivion and basically says hey, come and be my bitch and I'll save you from that Evil Book, otherwise Imma fuck you shit up something fiercer, dawg! Oblivion, being the dumbass we all know and really despise, replies with no thanks bro, I got 'dis shit down. Also I use it to keelz you 'cause ugly tall man is must die by Evil Book power! Raeging Justice! Alright, I vastly oversimplified the whole account, but essentially that's what it boils down to: Oblivion turns down the offer to work for Master and then trying to attack Him with a Boo|k. Book Lasers! ZAP! ZAP! The PTC are down now, so I guess we'll need someplace to get our laser fix from anyway. Then Oblivion managed to disappear and they don't know for sure really what actually happened to him after that. Baron Zemo is watching you cook chickenn. He suspects that getting rid of the Book was part of his scheme to shrink black men's dicks because he was jealous of us gettin' all the bitchez. Waitaminute, that may've just been the movie I was watching on TV last night. Nevermind.

I kinda lost track of where I was, so I'll just take this opportunity to transition totally naturally into the next part of the story. The part where I regale you all with tales of all the crazy shit we've been getting into since the last time I updated this stupid blog. (I'm sorry blog, I didn't mean that. I love you. No, please don't make me sleep on the sofa again tonight, I said I was sorry!) Legacy and I caught up with Madi and Lucy in Nebraska. Lucy-boy is one crazy fuck. I'm sure you all knew that, I just thought I'd point that out again. We got the Book back. After Lucifer tore a couple pages out. And tried to set it on fire. And killed a few of Legacy's minions. Fun fun fun. But that was all a day or two before we got there. What happened in the meantime, you \might be wondering? The Book decided to punish Lucifer for assaulting it, so it zapped him with lasers. No, not really. Actually what happened was, when he tried to burn it, the Book did catch on fire. It caught a lot on fire. It sort of became a roaring pillar of flame that engulfed Lucifer and spit him back out, all nice and crispy like a side of ribs and also just like a side of ribs, just a little bit dead. Not that I care or nuthin' but dammit, now the only person I have left here is the maimed girl who was taking orders from a puppet! This is unfuckingacceptable! Legacy's assholes disposed of Lucifer's bod<y, which was starting to ooze black shit and apparently had the scent of burning leaves about it. I guess that's a warning to everyone to not allow Eldritch beings to do things to your person. Legacy hasn't learned his lesson, because, no, he did not notice that he kept bleeding all over the fucking place. He did almost break my nose and cut off my middle finger though. How am I supposed to show people my approval using a one-finger gesture n-- oh wait, I was getting a thumb's up confused with that other thing again, wasn't I? Well, I guess I'm glad to still have my thumb, but it's rather aggravating trying to type with a finger missing. Especially since I continue to overuse words with i's in them. Fuckin' a!

:Legacy's people have been safeguarding the Book to keep other supernaturally-inclined nutjobs from attempting to take similar action. They say all's been well except for a few occasions where they think they saw somebody watching the hideout. Oh, and the night before we arrived when somebody did try to break in and then ran off when they shot at him. Didn''t manage to get a g|limpse at the guy. Whoever it was, I just have this to say: all your base are will belong to us. Make your time. Bit`ch.

What we done been doin' the past last couple days then? Well Legacy's been going over some kind of plan. He says the A̧̫̯̬͇͐͊̈́̉ͪͮ̿͑̈̌ͨ͜͡ŗ̄̍̑ͬ҉̲͉͉̜̗̠̝̩̮̘̗̣̦̞̜͉͎c̛̞͓̳̮̭̭̤̪̠̰̦͇͖͍̩̃͐̃͛͆ͯ͛̀̋ͥ̋̐̎ͬ̓̑͆̚̕͡ͅḣ̵̛̍̿ͨͫ̏ͣ̓̐̍̒̚͏҉̷̪͓̻͚͕̗̝̬̻̥̳͚̹ͅiͮ̐͒ͥ̔ͮ̈̿͏̢̟͇̝̖̣͖͠͠ṽ̵̾ͤ̔͗ͦ̎̒́ͫ̿̍̏̂̽͞͠҉̯͓̳͙͕̦̼̖̖̬̬̖ͅͅͅͅe̔ͭ̊̄͛̌̐̓̀͏̝͎̣͙̱̩͕͕̞̮̘̖̥̳͞ is something we must not allow to fall into enemy hands. They're really takin' this shit seriously, they even brought two more revenants out here, as if they're actually special or something. Aww, so cute. Some creepy ass twins who are snipers. Retarded music names, I can't be bothered to remember. They kinda creep me out though, `all emotionless actin' and shit. Actually all of Legacy's people are kind of creepy. I think they hate me. I'm pretty sure the only reason they ain't killed me is because so far I'm the only person that's been able to read the Book, even if the Book won't let me remember what I read in it. I might have to actually try to not piss them off too much, they already took one of my fingers. Dillholes.

Anyway, plans yes. Just kidding, you didn't really think I'd talk about those on here, did you? I don't believe I've ever done anything stupid like that. On purpose. Not_completely on purpose anyway.

TL;DR: Oblivion went crazy over a Book, got his ass beat by MC Slender Twenny, Lucifer was killed by the same stupid Book, Master is fucking up my computer, and Legacy and his people are dicks. That's really all you needed to know. If there was more, my editor didn't point it out, and she loved my post, so fuck you!

Did I con̗̗t̺ŕ̘̺̞a̜̯̟̥̣͎̻d̲̲̜ict myself regarding locations up there? Uh, that was totally on purpose |and meant to throw you perverts off my trail. Totes, dawg.

Stay frosty.

Updates and shit

I shot Cross in the face. Bastard tried to sneak up on me an' jack mah blog? I don't think so!

So yeah, shit's been taken care of. It's a good day I think.

Stay frosty, mah peeps. Uncle Ridley loves you all and hopes to come see you as soon as he can.