Showing posts with label For Real. Show all posts
Showing posts with label For Real. Show all posts

Saturday, February 4, 2012

I said you, You think you own I took away, Made it my own

Apologies.

But the shit has hit the fan.

Indeed.

Shut up. Anyhow, Glorianna, my dear cousin, never did enjoy this sweet gig as much as I did. She kind of hated Iscariot, 'cause y'know <he was the one that got us into this whole thing right? Among some... other things. So I suppose it shouldn't have come3 as too much of a surprise that she tries to get back at the crazy old fart. Is it my fault? Should I have known that she was gonna kill him? Eh, could be. What evs.

So yeah, Archy-boy is dead. And just when I was gonna try and get some answers out of him, too. No, I was, totally. That hgetting drunk -passing out in the middle of town was just an afternoon thing, and then we was gonna ge7t down to business. I can't keep myself on a leash all the time you understand. Umm yes... regardless... Glorianna's dead too. Death's He3ad shot her right afterwards, so yeah. We've not been getting along too well of late. Hazendorf is alright with me (mostly) 'cause we used to be on the same squad a long time ago, but I'm sure shit's going to go down between him and Head 55sometime soon. And as for Doc, well, he stopped back in earlier today, didn't bat an eye at anything that's happened, and then left without seeming to have done anything.

Let's face it, we're crazy here. And it's only getting worse.

Methinks it's past time the Big Boss assigned us to do anything. Anything at all. We obviously shouldn't be left to our own devices for too long, or shit7 like this happens. Dear Lord, I'm actually asking for work. What has become of me?

I- I really don't know what to say here.

Don't need me to say nothin'. I'm perfectly well; that whole breakdown before? Merely the insanity setting in. It most definitely was not shock or anything like that, so keep the fuck out. Monkies. It's monkeys. Fuck me. I apologize for not brightening anyone's blogs up with sexy and enlightening comments recently. There's really no excuse, I'm just drunk and lazy. Stop that. Where once there was so much Ridley that it could not be contained in one awesome blog, but had to be spread all over the blagosphere, it now has become quite clear that u9pypnydifgvh; everything is fine I'm just a busy guy, absolutely nothing going on down here. What I mean to say is 89pasdffhvkubukasdf I have shti to do adn everyone needs to just deal not come aroudn here no more I just can't fucking keep up. I'm a badass motherfucker certainly, but Jegus, there are like a million of you assholes nowadays. Like, I thought there were a lot of you guys way back when I first started on here, but dayamm!!! You're like rabbits, just keep multiplyin'. Someone needs to get out the wooden spoon so that we can neuter the shit out of these kids always fuckin' around these people nowadays. Try coherence. Vastly overrated, I assure you. I prefer a more kill all the peoples of running! ???

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oopsie

I disgust me. Suck it up. All my peeps, keep the frostiness. Ignore that one.
Had an accident, did we Rids?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Your death black wings; Unfolding sleep

Madi, stop having a bitch fit. Doc's an old perv, yes, but he's an old perv with hon... he's got manne- well, he would never-

Fine. You're right, trying not to get raped is part of your training. Have fun. But c'mon, he's almost a hundred years old, you can take him. You stabbed that cult asshole, spilled that fucker's guts. I believe in yyyyoooouuuuu!!

Yeah, whatever.

So as some of my readers may have gathered, we once more have stuff happening. Sweet! you say, and damn right for it. Madi shall be taking a little vacation. Well, that's not really right. Iscariot wants her to train with Doktor Abendroth, the crazy old German asshole who posted on my blog way back sometime. He's really a good guy, I've known him for years. He and Archy fought each other back during the war... Possibly even the one in Germany and maybe actually in 1941, but with all the weird time-fuckery both of them get into, it's hard to say for sure. He was doing some work for my old boss, Mr. Jonas, when I met him.

Ah, Mr. Jonas, yes. That's why I'm here. What can I tell you all about him? Not much, really. He does... things. Illegal things, that much you can be sure of, and he is a very wanted man in several states. Including Canada. Or at least he was at one time. That was the work that Doc was doing for him, getting the fuzz off his ass. That sounded very wrong. Doc, like I said, fucks around with time a lot, he did some shit, Jonas became sort of a nonperson. Oh he had an identity, a nice dude who as far as anyone knew was not involved in any activities which would be frowned upon by the law, but the criminal lord Jonas wasn't nobody that ever existed. Or something like that. You get the idea.

Shit didn't turn out quite right though. Mr. Jonas had a bit of an accident. That's why he has spent the last five years here in a hospital hooked up to machines. I won't go into detail about that, other than to say that... uh, stuff happened and shit. Slenders was involved... I think. I recall meeting our tall friend around this time anyway. Jonas denies that there ever was a Tall Man, but he's a near-braindead cripple, who cares what he thinks?

After that, I joined the Slender crew. I could tell you more, but I'm not really feeling it at the moment. Maybe later.

I'm now back here where I am, and my old employer wants me to do him a solid. 'Cause I'm the best there is at what I do and what I do isn't wait I think I stole that from somebody, oh well, I probably killed 'em for the right to use it anyway. The point is I'm damn good. Konaa, you can just shut the fuck up laughing at me in your fucking grave. I could've gotten you, bitch. Rhodes is a whore. I'm getting off topic. The point is I'm FUCKING awesome. I do good work. I'm not going to tell you what work I'm doing, I'm just going to leave short sporadic updates on here to make you guess as to what's going on, so that you will pull out your hair trying to theorize what it is that I'm up to.


No, but serious like. I still got Hansel & Gretel up here with me, and soon my old homeboys from Massachusetts are gonna be comin' up to do stuff. I kind of forgot them after I was mysteriously moved from Maine to Indy, so I'm sure they're bored, they obviously haven't been doing jack shit since I left them. Bums. Come to think of it, I should probably look into how I ended up in Indy. That wasn't really explained was it?
Fuck it, it was like five months ago, does anybody even really care anymore?

we care very much ridley. don't leave us yet, dear boy.

So I gots my new team be gettin' together soon and shit, and then we're gonna go do some stuff. I'll keep you all posted. Don't worry, I promise not to be all cryptical bullshitty like I implied I would be. I love you guys, I wouldn't do that to you.

Also, Robert is a giant hot dog. I say we grill him up and eat him.

Stay frosty.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Hey hey hey, I just found my way...

...All you stupid fuckers walk around astounded and drownin'

Yeah! I'm free! Free once again to breathe the air of the normal world where there are not monsters and crazed beasts around every corner. Here where the monsters are inside the closet and under the bed where they belong. Except for Neil Young, who somehow is still able to walk around freely in public. I've had things less frightening than that try to eat me.

It looks like several of the posts I made while inside the office on Ash Tree Lane didn't go through. And some of those that are there, I don't recall writing. There appear to also be some holes in what's up there, but fuck it, I can't be bothered to figure out what is and is not there. I'm free motherfuckers! Hide your wife, hide your kids!

Okay, maybe just the basics. We got inside the building, Roulette was gonna do whatever he was gonna do with the Book, but Sullivan betrayed us and killed Roulette. As he tried to make off with the Book, his 'associates' the Crimson Templars (or something stupid like that) arrive and we have a big fight, get separated, I get lost inside the place and fun times are had by all. Eventually I meet up again with Cadence and then Arpeggio and Madi. Oh, there was also my little encounter with Legacy and my other little encounter with the Dying Man. Finally we wind up in the lobby and are about to leave, when Legacy stops us. Then Sullivan and his assholes show up. Legacy has the Book with him and Sullivan requests that he return it to them. There was something about requiring the power it holds if they are to resurrect their savior. Sorry bro, but I just can't in good conscience allow you bring about L. Ron's return.

Sullivan pulls out his gun and points it at Legacy, and in response Cadence levels his rifle at Sullivan. Another one of the knights pulls a gun on him; Arpeggio pulls two guns and aims one at the knight and one at red trenchcoat bitch, who I think is the leader of this pretentious Redlight wannabe gang. And so it goes. By the time all is said and done, I myself have no less than three projectile weapons aimed at my person, including what appears to be a grenade launcher, while, having lost my second pistol somewhere along the way, I am left pointing but a single gun at some random mook. I was extremely disappointed that I didn't even get to fire at somebody important, but what can you do? I also, in the middle of the insanity, took notice of the fact that some of the knights were pointing guns at each other. Musta had a falling out. So, there's four of us, Legacy, about a dozen or so motherfuckers, and about thirty guns. We got quite the Mexican standoff goin' on here, is what I'm gettin' at.

Those crazy Mexicans and their silly Australian gunfights.

But as fun as it is just sittin' around and pointing guns at one another, at some point somebody has to actually do something. In this case it wasn't any of us. There's a crack, some black leaves blowing in the breeze and the front doors open wind. In walks this dude, just as natural as if he were entering his own fucking living room, dressed in torn jeans and a black hoodie. He's got the hood pulled up and his head down, so we can't see his face, and he just strolls in, not seeming to take heed of the twenty or so pissed off motherfuckers with firearms only a couple yards off.

The newcomer stops and turns his head toward Legacy, who nods, and then this woman walks in, who is very clearly the Dying Man's new host, what with her missing eye, her sunken-in cheeks, the way the flesh on her face is kind of peeling off, the way her voice sounds like Satchmo. Yeah, blow your horn, Louie. The woman walks over to Legacy and takes the Book from him, the sound of a gun being fired is heard, and that's all it takes for everything to go absolutely batshit. Bullets flying every which way, people going down, me cutting out a dude's throat after he shot me in the left shoulder. Jegus, I got a crate dropped on it, got shot there before, got my arm cut open, got my hand broken... please, for the love of God, if you're going to attack me in the arm, can you please go for the right side? I don't think the left one can sustain much more shit happening to it.

So the smoke clears, some folks are dead, including Legacy it looks like. Of course the little demon twins are somehow perfectly fine, creepy little fucks. Hoodie guy is standing in the middle of the room, a bloodied sword in one hand, the Book in the other. It was at this point that I saw the Operator Symbol on the back of his hoodie. Black hoodie... Operator symbol... shows up in the middle of crazy shit goin' down... Hey, I know who this guy is!

"Hey, motherfucker, I thought you was supposed to be studying and shit. You keep saying that's why you can't update your blog!"

He turns around. "Hey, you try writing up an essay about the existential dynamics of space-time manipulation by extradimensional horroterrors without stealing a tome of eldritch lore or two and see how far you get."

"So how come you ain't dead right now? That's how these incidents usually end, ain't it?"

"That's just silly. If I were dead, I couldn't be waxing my car while fighting Nazis in Brazil?"

"...Huh?"

"Sorry I don't have time to talk, but I am a very busy man. There are papers to write and dark magick to read up on."

And with that he was gone. Once again, my hospitality is ignored, as another one just leaves without staying to have drinks. What's this world coming to? So with that... encounter finished, I realized hey, who the hell else is still around? We didn't find any knights still breathing, so I collected my peeps and we got the hell out of there. It's really been two fucking weeks since we went in there? What the fuck? I know it felt like we were there forever, but really I figured it couldn't have been more than a week. Stupid fucked up bullshit mindfuckering, asswiping, time-distorting, space-warping, dimensional bleeding structure of corporate whatever, I'm tired of this now.


It's been a long ride, my peeps. A mindfucked motherfucker with teh magick powerz, fucking Wyoming, a teenage girl getting too involved in an internet myth, H.P. Lovecraft's Book of Bedtime Stories, couriers, revenants, cultists, Fears, motherfucking Omega... What the hell? That's all I can say really, just- just, what the hell?

With Legacy and Roulette and most of the rest of the team gone, I guess that means I'm leader now! W00t!! Naw, just fucking with y'all. That shit's boring, and it gets far too political for my tastes. Anyway, we got places to get our asses to right now. Before the higher ups start pissing and moaning about all the shit that's gone down. If they think I'm filling out any goddamn paperwork they obviously haven't been keeping in touch with my insurance agency.

Life is fucking good motherfuckers! Stay frosty ladies and bros. Hopefully we'll have some kind of new job soon and more ridiculous and stupid shit to regale you all with. Because we've all been having a just wonderful time with all that thus far, haven't we?

Yeah, I know you fucking have.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Told you I'm awake. Swallowing you.

Hahaha. Finally making some goddamn progress here.

I found Cadence. Creepy little fuck though he is, it's nice to have a familiar face around. The Boss tends to have a bit of a problem in that department. Whatever, it's all chill. The two of us managed to track down that fuck in the red suit and blow his fucking head off. I guess I now know where the blood splatters I saw in the corner office earlier were from. It's nice when this time bullshit syncs up someway that I have an actual clue as to what the fuck is going on.

It'd be wonderful if everything could turn out so that I had some idea what the fuck was going on. Like that bullshit with Legacy earlier. Though to be be honest, I just think he's off his rocker. It was bound to happen eventually.

Cadence and I did run into Sullivan at one point during our travels. The damn traitor remains as slippery as ever, though one of us did manage to hit him. Followed that blood trail around for a little while before it ended twenty feet straight up the side of a wall and, being that neither of us are Spider-Man, we were unable to continue.

One thing that's nice about having the little freak here with me is that now one of us can sleep while the other stands guard. And by that I of course mean I sleep while he stands guard. No more getting dragged off by angels for this nigga, no sir. My leg still ain't healed up from my little adventure up in the tower. I don't think they're very happy about that. At least I only ran into one of 'em last time; it was a simple matter to just jump the fucker and carve his wings off. Burnt my hands up something fierce, but nevertheless...

Shit... four days in this place... at least that's what the computer says. I don't really trust it though since earlier it said the year was 1902. But hey, the Scott Joplin tunes in the background were loads better than the shit that I normally have to hear. It's difficult to get to sleep when somewhere, somewhen you can hear the sounds of someone being murdered. Possibly by me.

I can't believe I'd be so inconsiderate of myself.

Anyway, I'm hoping we can find the girls if they're still alive and/or make it to the lobby so we can finally get the hell out of this place. I don't really give one shit about the Book anymore, it can stay in this fucking place til the end of time for all I care. Good riddance to the fucking thing.

Stay frosty.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

When your fears subside, and shadows still remain

Sorry about that y'all. Roulette's a bit of a motherfucker. What am I saying, he's a huge motherfucker. I can't apologize enough for leaving my blog in the hands of that douchebag. My hand has healed up nicely so I am once again able to be the one to keep y'all updated on all the awesome shit that's been goin' down around here. Fuck Roulette for breaking my hand too. I don't recall if he mentioned that to y'all, but it's true that he did. Fuckwhore.

So anyway, he did mention to y'all that we've got our own stalker here, nice distinguished older gentleman that we've seen hangin' around outside the place here and there. Before that we had a number of different folks who we'd see for maybe a day or so, and we'd never see the same person more than once or twice. None of them would ever get too close though, and if anyone tried to go out and start some shit with 'em they'd just up and disappear.

That does not seem to be the case any longer, however. Might have something to with the fact that Legacy's missing. A couple days ago he left to go take care of some business elsewhere, and we just haven't heard from him since. Well yesterday, our stalker buddy shows up again, but this time he's chillin' literally on our doorstep. Death's Head behaved in a less than hospitable manner towards this, said she was tired of seein' the fucker, and she was gonna put a stop to this shit. She goes outside with her big fucking knife and just starts filling the guy full a holes. Now most of us aren't crazy enough to get in her way when she starts gettin' all nuts, but Roulette seems to think he's the team leader or something while Legacy's gone, and he's either got some serious balls or I just gave him too much credit presenting him as the sane man around here. Because as soon as he found out what was going on, he heads out to try and stop her.

It didn't turn out too well. He tried to tranquilize her, but she only turned around and nearly took his bitch head off. Then the old man, somehow not dead, grabs her and tosses her through the window. Well, he tried to anyway, his arm kinda fell off and dropped her in the window. That was a bloody fucking mess. Roulette gets up and then goes back down, the old guy punched him back and he fell down the stairs, knocks his stupid head on the concrete and goes out like a light.

Well that just left me and old No-Name hangin' around, watchin' the action throug the broken window. He looks in at us and I see that his face is pretty fucked up. All scarred and shit, wrinkled and lookin' like some strips of flesh is missin'. He grins at us, revealing that most of his teeth are gone and the ones that ain't are black and rotten, just like his gums. He laughs, then walks out of view and we see the front door close. I walk over and check it out, and the fucker's just gone.

While I was busy contemplating about what kind of crazy fuck shows up looking like death, knocks out our dudes and then is nice enough to close the door before he goes, we hear some gunshots coming from the inner rooms. We go in, check that shit out, find Hansel and Gretel and a whole shit-ton of bullet holes all around. They was guarding the Book, which I check up on and see that all seems to be in order. Apparently the old guy walked in through the closet and... actually, they couldn't really agree on what happened after that. Cadence says he lunged at them and they just shot at him, but somehow the bullets were just missing him. And then he sliced both their heads off. Arpeggio says he just strolled in, the lights went out and then she was gettin' impaled on her own gun like she was the sheriff's daughter and Michael Myers came to call

Obviously neither of these can be correct, what with them both being not dead.

Or at least, we don't think so. We seem to have deduced the identity of our mysterious stalker. The Dying Gentleman. Like the Boss, only without a body, so he possesses folks. And then they die and shit. So not really like the Boss all that much really. It makes sense now why we kept seeing different people around, he kept using up his hosts. Though we're not sure why he was using this most recent one for so long, it seems he pretty well used that one all up. The disappearing act he kept pulling was just hopping through the City. That at least might've been obvious. It would've also seemed obvious that he was comin' for the Book, except that he had the damn thing right in his sight and decided not to grab it. We're... not altogether sure what to make of that.

There are new pages in the A̺̱͑̈́̃͂̂́r̵̯̠̮͙͎̯̗͑͊͒͐̂́͝ͅc͗ͣ̌͐ͯ̑ͥ̀ͧ͏͏̞̠̬̩h̴̤ͪͣͩͣ͘͞i̢̡̲̬͙̝͓̲̥̓ͫͅv̶̵̡͖͔̰͉ͬ̉ͭ̈́ȩ̮͕̯̽ͪ̐ now. Things I can actually read without whatever supernatural shit is in that thing getting all up inside my head. Not that it would matter, but it doesn't match with anything I read in it before. Der Ritter. The Guardians of the Bloody Prophet. 666. The Scarlet Knights. The Dying Man. The Beast. Exit Light. Black Leaves. The Aperture.
Roulette broke the fucking thing, I'm having trouble holding it together now. It only works so long as I can't remember. She's trying to break it down too. The Wooden Bitch. I've seen what she's sending through the TV. Couldn't get at us in person with the Master showing up every time she tries shit.
Legacy's a doomed man. He stayed with the delusion right up until the end, couldn't understand why his body wouldn't fit back together after the Red Man cut him in half. Maybe he was just a bit more gone than normal though, lying there in a puddle of his own blood as the darkness slowly came and devoured him. The twins fared somewhat better at least. Cadence never even got to see what took him out when one of the puppets came from behind and chopped off the top of his head. Arpeggio was with Madi at the very end; somehow they'd managed to crawl out of the explosion, but then the crows came and picked off what was left of their flesh. The Master stood by and watched as they expired. He didn't think much of the Scarlet Specter's devotion to her messiah, so he repaid her for the death of his minions with the death of hers.
A hundred corpses filled the town by the time it was all over. Bodies rendered limb from limb, bleeding and burnt, a last look of terror stuck on their fucking traitorous faces. I could hear their screams echo from out of hell. The streets ran red with blood.
Fuck, did I actually just say that?
No-Name received such a terribly dull end. A stray bullet caught him in the back and pierced his heart. Kind of ironic I suppose, since he'd been invested in carving out the heart of the Black Knight's accomplice when it hit. Roulette had been facing the Black Knight, but he really should've learned how to fight. Poison doesn't do so well against a gun. Or maybe it was that gaping hole that his intestines were hanging out of. That could've been what did him in. Sullivan... well he just got fucked in the end.
Is that how it went? Maybe I only read them in my head after all.
I should stop.

So that's been our week. How 'bout the rest of y'all, how are you fuckers? Keepin' it frosty I hope.

Monday, October 24, 2011

IHe really shouldn't have done that.
Roulette's a real motherfucker, ain't he? I apologize, I don't know what came over me. Lettin' that asswipe write on my blog, I musta been high. Actually, that's not an entirely improbable... thing that could've happened. I think the psychotic bitch has been slippin' shit into my drinks. She totally wants me. I'd be flattered normally, but with her there's a very likely possibility that I'd wake up in the morning and find myself dead. Dead Ridleys are the enemy. We don't like dead Ridleys.

All you violent, insane, proxy-killing runners can just shut the fuck up. Nobody likes you. That's how we're different. I have fans. You jelly.

But let's get into the meat of the story, shall we. The reason I'm here now. Legacy's missing. He went out to take care of some business a few days ago and nobody's seen him since. We've noticed that the guy stalking us has been coming closer since Legacy's been gone. Death's Head went psycho (well for her I guess that's really completely normal) and went out after him. This time he actually stuck around to fight her. Or rather, he stuck around to let her beat the shit outta him. She got real excited when he didn't react at all to getting stabbed in the chest. Thought that meant she'd get to fuck him up pretty bad before he finally bit it. And she proceeded to do so pretty well; but when he still didn't react at all to anything she did, she started gettin' pissed. Then he knocked her to the ground.

By this time, Roulette had gone out after her. He's appointed himself leader in Legacy's absence and said he couldn't let the bitch get out of control. Bit late for that, but alright. Roulette punches the guy, but gets thrown down like he was a dummy. I thought this shit had gone on too long and decided that a shot right between the eyes would serve as a nice finish to things. I would've done so too, but the dude looks up at me then and... well fuck, I just couldn't move. There was something with his eyes. They were just wrong, not human. His face was wrong too, though that could've just been the fact that he'd been stabbed there several dozen times. Except that he wasn't bleeding, least not that I could see. I heard the fucker laugh and then I wake up to find myself dead thrown unceremoniously up against the wall of Legacy's office where the rest of the folk were meeting about stuff.

We're going to have to alter the plan now. I think I know which one of these fuckers is sending off information to the Order. If I can just manage to gather enough energy to get out...

I caught the gist of it. The dude appeared inside the complex, outside the room where Legacy locked up the Book. Cadence and Arpeggio were on guard duty and saw him just walk in and then jump out the window before they could do anything. Oh, and there's just one other small matter. Really, not hardly worth mentioning. He's dead. Jumped out the window, it was the third floor, he went splat. Roulette checked over the body, because I guess being an ex-assassin somehow makes you a certified coroner, and he says the guy's been dead for at least a week. When I said he went splat, he really did. The body's already got a couple weeks worth of decaying done, and there's hardly a drop of blood left in it.

With these bits of solid evidence, we believe we now know the identity of our mysterious stalker friend. It's just lovely really how-

Saturday, October 1, 2011

OH just wondRefUL

LEgAcy;s here noW th0se fucking M̧͙͎̼͑͒͆ͮ̓͐ͤI̴̹͊͂͂̈́̏̎ͯ͡Ṋ̸̟̼̩̤ͭ̑ͯ̒̄͢D̏̿͐̈͡҉̷̫̥̜͍͕̖͙R͎͙̲̜͔͔̱̦͑ͥ̚A̛̳̮̦̤̬͚̤͎ͮ̌̉̿͋ͤ̈́ͅP̜̭̟ͨ̔ͬͩE̴͎̩̪̣̹͙̜̎ͬ̏ͫ̑͢ͅḐ̛̜̣͕̼̖͉̆͞ͅ ̤̎ͦ̓́̐ͭR̸̘ͦ̎͒̄̐͠E̴̵͉͉͉͈̝̙̠̻̬̾ͭ̃̈̄͘V̸̴̭͙͕̂̑͐̍̔ͦ̐ͭE̋̑̿ͨ͐ͩ̅҉̘͓̳̦̝̫n̢͍̫̱̍ͤ̉͌͊̌́ͬA̡̙̩͔͑͒̍̿̅͐͒̈͘Ṋ̝̻̹̙ͭ͊̂͂͛̎ͤ́ͅT̟̺̙̺̓ͨ̏̂ fuckers it's GOING TO BE JUSt...

I THNK-- i ThiNk THey shoudlnt be able to read this to read this but THe STATE I'M IN IN AT THE MOMENNT... nOT SUrE HOW SKINNY MIGHT'VE MESSED WITH  mYH my POWRS


I SHOULD SHOULD HURRY RIDLEY AND LEGACY ARE BUSY AT THE MOMENTBUT THERES NO TELLING FOR HOW LONG I... IT WAS--  IKNOW PROBABLY NONE OFy OU TRUST ME BUT..-; EvRYTHING WAS IT ALL IT GOT FUCKED UP. RIDLEY USED THE B͇͔̫̪̗ͣ̏͒̐ͮ͗̾O̲͔̞̝ͩ͗ͬÒ͚̥̹͑ͦͣͣK̰̟̭̙͉̥̺͐̒͂ HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TO DO HE DID IT WRONG. OR RIGHT. DEPENDS WHICH SIDE you"re --- ANYway, HE RIDLEY HE SAW THINGS, HE DOESN'T REMEMBER THEM NOW BUT IT'LL COME BACK TO HIM, IT WILL WHEN IT IS NECESSARY AND NOW NOW EVERYTHIGN IS  RUINED IT WONT' FUCKING NOTHING WO'NT WORK NOW,..    the SLENDER MAN WASN'T SPPOSED TO FiND ME THAT WAS WHY I USED rIDLEY in THE FIRST PLACCE IT  WAS SUPPOSE TO KEEP HIS MASTER AWAY FROM ME ITIT WAS IT WAS WORKING, I HTINK 
HE HAD FOUND FOUND ME THE SLENDER MAN...
THE SLENDER MAN HAD BEEN FOLLOWING ME BEFORE WHEN  BEFORE WHILE I WAS HUMAN AND...

balthasar von abendroth had been a scientist for the third reich attempting to create powerful weapons by combining science and magick. most of his research was destroyed by his own superiors after he mysteriously just vanished in the middle of the war. he was last known to be working outside of the black forest where he claimed he had discovered the resting place of a powerful demon that had been sealed underneath a church by some monks in the late 16th century. there are no certain accounts of where he was actually last seen. many have claimed to have been the ones who last saw the doctor alive, however it is certain that these cannot all be true as they each claim to have seen him at around the same time in vastly distant regions, some even as far away as Paris or Moscow, locations it would have been quite impossible for the doctor to be at at those times. there is nonetheless


...%BUT THERE IS ANOTHER AND HE... THE SERVANTS IN HIDING WHOSE MASTER HAS BEEN SLAIN BY THE ENEMIES OF THE TALL ONE. THEY HAVE CHOSEN ONE WHO SHALL LEAD THEM AND no LONGER shall THEY SUFFER^ THEMSELVES TO SERVE THE FACELESS beast. OH GOD I JUST WaNT  it TO END NOW JUST FUCKING 
HEHEHEHEHE...


I GET it nOW, i fINaLLy GET THE FUCKING JOkE --THIS IS all T̡͗̓ͦͬ͒̂̃H̵̔E̸̡̐̌̈́̿̌ ̶̛ͨͯ̽͊̐V͒̋Iͥͨͧ̚҉L̶͗̋̄͆̈͘L̡͒̊͟Ȁ̵̃̊͘G̨ͭ͒ͭ͊͐Eͧͫ̓̃ͭ͜͜͠ AND IT DOEsn'T MATTER WHAT SIdE yOurE ON, THE TALL MAN IS GETS EVERyONe I NTHEEND YOU'RE ALL JUST FUCKING nUmBeRs~+ and i"ll be a FR̡͡E͡͏͜E͘͢͠ man again soon ____%<S!83; DOES ITT MKAE ANY SSENSE AT ALL?? do I E<EN FKing CAER A TTHIS POIT N    ?ofcourse I doN"t  I̹̩̞̘̤͘͟ͅ ͏̛͉̦̪̼̦͉̹͞S̭̹̯̹̼̗̺̯͠͞ͅT̗O̶̼̗̼̱͎̼͖͓P̭̗͕̬̱̭̙͙̹P̨̙̱̯E͈̮̳͙͔̮͈͎̫ ͉͍̺̟̼́E̗̖͜V̶͇̟̻͈̻͓̹ͅḘ̮̥͘R̪̫̤̥̗̤͖Y̵̹̣͟͞T͜҉͉H̰̝͈̠̙̭͉͔͝I̲̦̼̤̯̘̕G̖̞̳̀͜͝ͅN̴̡̛̪͍ ͇̼̼̗̜͟Ş̸̶͙̪̜̠͈̱͚͉͎T̫̦̥̜͞P̙͕͉̤P̯͍̻̰̙͉̪̯O̤̺̤̣̣E͎͎͞D̶̥ ̢̝̭́ͅD͏̵̫̳̟͍I̷̭͝D̢̡̤͔̠̝̗̖̭͎̗͘N̨̪͓̤̟͘'̬̩̬͙̟̪̣ͅT҉͍͖̜̤ ̨͖̲̜̕M̞̪̟͔̣̲͎A̢̯̪̙̪͉͖͓̠͘K̠̰̗̪̤̭̟ͅE̸̬̰͕͍̻̰ ̴͇͉̜͘ͅS̹͍̲̝͢ͅǸ̞̭̤̗͇͎̠͠E̶̻̼̖͈̩̳̩͎S̵̢̹͎̣̜͕͚͞ ̴̝A͟͏̼N͈͎͙̻͙̫̝Y̖̝̱̺͢M͉͈̗͈͕̱͕̗̗O̸̯̫̟̭̠̤R̡̡̖͙E̝̟͘͘ ͈̘̮̼̬̥̜̥W̘̜̣̱̩̟̰̝͞H̨̞̩͙̫E̥̝̥̺̕͡N̻̦̮̮͓͙ ̶҉̯̯̹̦͙̗̥d͍̠̼̤̲̹̙̀͝ͅi̶̧̨̙͉͕̗e̡̛҉̗̣̪̟̪̩͖̮d͎̝̭̦̲

NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE AND WHY SHOULD IT?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

When the World Bleeds

Okay, so what the hell is this? This shit's closing in now, you say, what the hell is this shit?

I TOLD YOU, IT IS THE BLEEDING OUT OF LUCIFER. REALITY HAS BECOME FRACTURED. THERE MANY BREAKING POINTS, BUT ONE IN PARTICULAR THAT IS OF INTEREST TO YOU.

What? That creepy fucking building? Fuck that shit, man, I ain't goin' back into that place again. There's at least one time-displaced psycho in there who wants me dead.

CAUSALITY MUST BE RESTORED.

I don't know what the hell that means, but allow me to repeat. Fuck. That. Shit.

VERY WELL THEN, YOU SHALL BE REJOINED TO THAT SNIVELLING HUSK YOUR MASTER LEFT YOU AS. WHEN YOU HAPPEN TO PULL YOUR MIND BACK TOGETHER, DO KEEP IN TOUCH.

Man, the hell with you, nigga. I dont' need your fucking help, I can fix my broken ass mind all by my DAMN self. And keep the fuck away from my new little friend. I have plans for her when I get back for good.

YOU DO PLACE TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON YOURSELF. THERE ARE OTHERS. I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT ASSHOLE FRIEND OF YOURS IF I COULD GET INSIDE HIS HEAD. ARROGANT OLD BASTARD. NOW, PROCEED, ON YOUR WAY TO OBLIVION.

Oooh, you're quoting kids' movies now, I'm shaking in my fucking boots. Kiss my black ass. Hey, woah, what the fuck, bro? Tthiss is.. whatt hte hell aer you doing, son of a bitch dont even yrt master riddles iss  goood  boy wyh  ffor goes u to keepe ]unsih8ng ridlletyy674ieh FUCK no, i aint fucking doing this shit again I ain't gonna let you fucking dooo htis tto ne... koniedawf riddle no   want nkill uyo n morrre pelase we be  friemdw nnoe ues/// plea  be  grirnd   fo 4id;eh yes/? burn it, fucking burn the damn thign nnnngghhhhhhlk;kl;;ll;l;d                   fifi and archy adn maadi und lucfer end dolly eeend  messi aand caper and twinkeltwniklelittlestar nnd kona  nud arky amd reddie dna robbie hda jayjay 4nd lainey abd zer0 and jay ND PHANTSAM NAD HE5 SPOOOKY LIL BRAt     ndd riddlemerid dlemeriddle me this
riddles will kill all tthat will be killed but those that die cant be saved by time so tell me chillins tell me true does uncle riddles come to kill you//?

68 65 72 65 20 69 73 20 77 69 73 64 6f 6d

ffather yes son i want to kill you

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Updates and shit

I shot Cross in the face. Bastard tried to sneak up on me an' jack mah blog? I don't think so!

So yeah, shit's been taken care of. It's a good day I think.

Stay frosty, mah peeps. Uncle Ridley loves you all and hopes to come see you as soon as he can.

Friday, July 1, 2011

By the Master...

What the fuck ARchangel?

Where the fuck are you? What was that? What the hell did you do?

I can see her now. But she's only in my head right? C'mon you were just making this shit up and...
what the fuck was that?

The black masked guy, adn Lucifer and all shit everything fukctittitififjp9opkm yn8raim hflkghasfdlhkfa;hfff



Dead men tell no tales. We have come to terms.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Whassup y'all?

Those damn runners are slippery bitches, I'll give 'em that.


So what happens is, I track these bastards down to a hotel a little bit outside of Who-the-fuck-cares, Massachusetts. Did I spell that right? Eh, who cares. Lucky I was to be able catch them just before they were about to leave too. Keep in mind we is in some crap little hicktown in the middle of fucking nowhere so it's not like there's exactly... well, people around. So that's lucky y'know since I would have to catch 'em in the parking lot before they could reach their car. I tackled the dude to the ground and just about managed to slice open his throat when the sister smacks me with a tire iron. My fault for not thinking that bitch would try something, but she's never done anything before. Fuck that bitch.


Dave gets up and reaches for his gun, but no-no, can't allow that can we? Did I mention that I'm an expert knife-thrower? Well I'm not, but I can at least chuck one at a person and make it stick in their arm. Enough of a distraction to allow me to get to my feet and rush this nigga for a tackle. That's right, I said nigga. Twice now. Sissy tries to hit me with that tire iron again but hell, ain't nobody gets ol' Ridley with the same trick twice. Grabbed that thing and twisted it out of her grip, beaned her bro with it. Would've worked lovely had not the bastard, while momentarily surprised, had by this time removed my knife from his shoulder and promptly stabbed me with it as I conked him. Dammit, puttin' that bloody knife into my arm, that's just rude and unsanitary. Bitch. At least I hit him I guess, but the sonuvabutch moved over enough that I only glanced the side of his head. I hope that welt hurts like hell for the next few days. Until I find you again, you bitch.


So asshole-Dave was briefly incapacitated, to a small degree, might as well go in for the kill. Waitaminutenow, last time I forgot about our dear little sis I got a tire iron to the skull. That shit hurts. So where the fuck did she disappear to now? Well, I'm lookin' all over and I ain't seein' a sign of her. Too bad bitch, looks like sissy has left you to die. A smart move, even though I should inevitably catch up to her again. Dammit, these cocksuckers really piss me off. I get my gun out right, I'm about to shoot this bastard. Wait, what's that noise? Oh shit. I really should have remembered the fucking car. Sissy tries to run me down and naturally I get the fuck out of the way because, y'know, I can't fight a goddamn car. Well that's just plain fightin' dirty as far as I'm concerned and I will NOT be had in such a manner. She's helping her bro into the car now, I have a clear shot, so I take it. Excellent. Hit her the shoulder, she gets knocked back into the vehicle, smacks her head on the side of the car. Now to take car of asshole. What's this? He's got his gun now? No matter, he's still dizzy can't shoot a damn... well fuck.


So I jump out of the way, ain't a damn thing to take cover behind cause, we're in the middle of fucking nowhere and they were the only people at the hotel. I run towards the building, shooting behind me as a go, and duck around the corner. I hear him pull her back into the car and speed off. Shit. That was quite a disgraceful display if I do say so myself. So I went around back and stole the owner's car to chase after 'em. I think I deserve the car more than the owner anyway; apparently doesn't hear any of this shit goin' down right outside, but does hear his car start. Then he comes outside, with a shotgun, and shoots at me. In his car. Good thing the old bastard was an absolutely terrible shot, I mean how do you just completely miss a big ol' SUV with a shotgun?


Well, at any rate I appear to have lost my targets for the moment. No matter I'm pretty sure I know where they're headin'. Boston's a big place though, I may have to actually put an effort into finding 'em this time. Dammit, I hate real work. Oh well, I've got me some friends in Boston to help out. And in the meantime, I think I know what to do while I wait.


Stay frosty y'all. We're always watching.