Hang my head, drown my fear; til' you all just disappear

Hey ladies and ugly people, how do?

I'm afraid I don't have much time. We still haven't heard from Legacy, but Roulette says that with the Dying Man obviously up to something here we should go ahead with the plan as soon as possible. I may not have really mentioned the plan before, which would be because I never really got to hear what it was exactly we were going to be doing. Legacy's been working it out since before he came and got me in Wyoming. He had an informant, you see, who'd been feeding him information about what he needed to do with the Book once he'd gotten it from me. A rather annoying informant who speaks in red text and all caps and who seems to think hacking my blog is a fun recreational activity. Well, he did, before he ended up all dead. Or something. Either way he's been quiet for a long time, so here's hoping.

That's how Legacy got all that information about the Book and OBLIVION, I guess? Don't know why the fucker would care about telling one of us all that, since he was apparently trying to get rid of the Boss, but whatever the fuck. We're going to the corporate office of Crazy Ass Shit Unlimited. For some of my newer readers, who may not recall my previous adventures with Iscariot, that would be the fucked up dimensionally bleeding building we ran into once or twice way back when. And OBLIVION mentioned it, I guess.

For everyone that wasn't too lazy to read through those, you can see that this is just going to be so fucking awesome. Just great. I love it, I really do.

Fucking stay frosty, motherfuckers.

When the World Bleeds

Okay, so what the hell is this? This shit's closing in now, you say, what the hell is this shit?

I TOLD YOU, IT IS THE BLEEDING OUT OF LUCIFER. REALITY HAS BECOME FRACTURED. THERE MANY BREAKING POINTS, BUT ONE IN PARTICULAR THAT IS OF INTEREST TO YOU.

What? That creepy fucking building? Fuck that shit, man, I ain't goin' back into that place again. There's at least one time-displaced psycho in there who wants me dead.

CAUSALITY MUST BE RESTORED.

I don't know what the hell that means, but allow me to repeat. Fuck. That. Shit.

VERY WELL THEN, YOU SHALL BE REJOINED TO THAT SNIVELLING HUSK YOUR MASTER LEFT YOU AS. WHEN YOU HAPPEN TO PULL YOUR MIND BACK TOGETHER, DO KEEP IN TOUCH.

Man, the hell with you, nigga. I dont' need your fucking help, I can fix my broken ass mind all by my DAMN self. And keep the fuck away from my new little friend. I have plans for her when I get back for good.

YOU DO PLACE TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON YOURSELF. THERE ARE OTHERS. I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT ASSHOLE FRIEND OF YOURS IF I COULD GET INSIDE HIS HEAD. ARROGANT OLD BASTARD. NOW, PROCEED, ON YOUR WAY TO OBLIVION.

Oooh, you're quoting kids' movies now, I'm shaking in my fucking boots. Kiss my black ass. Hey, woah, what the fuck, bro? Tthiss is.. whatt hte hell aer you doing, son of a bitch dont even yrt master riddles iss  goood  boy wyh  ffor goes u to keepe ]unsih8ng ridlletyy674ieh FUCK no, i aint fucking doing this shit again I ain't gonna let you fucking dooo htis tto ne... koniedawf riddle no   want nkill uyo n morrre pelase we be  friemdw nnoe ues/// plea  be  grirnd   fo 4id;eh yes/? burn it, fucking burn the damn thign nnnngghhhhhhlk;kl;;ll;l;d                   fifi and archy adn maadi und lucfer end dolly eeend  messi aand caper and twinkeltwniklelittlestar nnd kona  nud arky amd reddie dna robbie hda jayjay 4nd lainey abd zer0 and jay ND PHANTSAM NAD HE5 SPOOOKY LIL BRAt     ndd riddlemerid dlemeriddle me this
riddles will kill all tthat will be killed but those that die cant be saved by time so tell me chillins tell me true does uncle riddles come to kill you//?

68 65 72 65 20 69 73 20 77 69 73 64 6f 6d

ffather yes son i want to kill you

1318

why it nno doess    stop?? ?/

mmmmmmasssster  i mmuch   sory i tell lyiou  
             tellm mprimncess   iis much vrey very sorry  u i tell u masater that isi no gfvood forf to punish rildey no more rdliey is um good boy no for t ohurrgt pppeoples nom ooer i is much ot of very good u see ridley bve good boy nmnaster

riddles be a very good boy youll see ill show you master just you watch no more it burns any more master youll see see riddley shalal be kept frosty once more do not for to hurt rildey more masster am to be forgive much master sorry plase do

Why the hell does shit like this always happen to a brother, huh? Can't a guy just for once catch a damn break? Jeezus, you get hired to kill people, and then He punishes you for trying to kill people! Well excuse me if I thought the little pussy was just annoying and I didn't want to listen to the sound of his blogposts anymore. I still personally think it'd be a favour to us all...

ridleu will be ggood masdtr uyo see rildey nbo fail you again master

do good rwork now ridldey shall yes master much r ildey will d o to atone for gthe own    misatkes of ridley

riddles not shal l fial master again

I mean, really. Why did I kill that creepy little brat? 'Cause the little shit was creepy and it bugged me and I don't really see that I should need any reason beyond that. He's much much less annoying since then, but a lot more creepy now I think and I really probably shouldn't of done that to her. Oh quit staring at me before I have to get my gun. Anyways, ain't like there's much to do about it now is there? Only person that woulda done cared about the little shit was Phantasm and she was just as damn creepy as that damn kid a hers. Now fuck off, all of you.

rdidles can se ethe dead as  wwhat become has of ridleys amdness

death for i swhat onyl thing            ridles  has done wiht ever

dno longggger foes ridley wish for   ridlys onw self to    caseu deat hhh for enmites of rilsey

Alright, damn, I mean yeah there's lots of fucked up shit around here. Ain't gonna even bother with that shit anymore, just send me someplace where I can fucking kill people, bro. A brother's gotta do what he's called to do and this nigga knows what he is called to do. We operate, baby. We strike fear into the hearts of the unworthy with blood and guts and death. And it is good. C'mon dawg, I think you'd be excellent. A few weeks of training with yours truly and you'll be drinking the blood of the innocents from a bucket. Maybe, but really, do you have a better one? I didn't think so. I'll talk to Archy, I'm sure he can come up with something. Sure, sure, don't mention it, baby.

Say, you ever get that feeling that something ain't quite right?


YOU MEAN LIKE, RIGHT NOW, RIDLEY-BOY?


Uh, yeah. Exactly like that.













NO, THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU DID IT WRONG, DUMBASS. NOT ENTIRELY WRONG, MOST PEOPLE DO IT THE SAME. FUCK IT. YOU'RE WRONG. I'M GOING TO FIX YOUR DAMN MISTAKE NOW AND WE'LL SEE HOW THIS GOES. YOU FUCKTARD.

By the Master...

What the fuck ARchangel?

Where the fuck are you? What was that? What the hell did you do?

I can see her now. But she's only in my head right? C'mon you were just making this shit up and...
what the fuck was that?

The black masked guy, adn Lucifer and all shit everything fukctittitififjp9opkm yn8raim hflkghasfdlhkfa;hfff



Dead men tell no tales. We have come to terms.