Saturday, January 21, 2012

Tangled abstract fallacy; random turmoil builds in me

I'm not really completely sure what's going on.

So Doc thinks I'm slacking off. Or hiding shit. Whatever, he can just go fuck himself because fuck him.

Now y'see, what had happened was, we go down to Salieri's to, y'know, kick some ass, take some names, maybe steal the bossman's membership card to the country club. They stopped letting me in there when they found out the guy who was letting us in had died a couple weeks back. And my game has been suffering for it, I really need to get back on the green and practice. But that is neither here nor there, let us get back on topic.

But anyway, I'll try to make this quick, since some people apparently are lazy and can't be bothered to read all of the oh-so-long posts that I make. Since we already found out that Salli was able to pinpoint where we opened the Path, and his muggle security systems where top-notch, we decided to take a different approach. We called back Doc. None of us knows where the hell he gets his voodoo powers from, and we figured nobody else would either. So we thought it'd be safe to send him in.

While in the course of breaking and entering, Doc managed to track down just exactly the information we needed. What intelligence we had managed to gather seemed to indicate that Salli had been putting a lot of time into a secret little pet project; even moreso since that first disaster. So that was what Doc went to check out. And a good thing he did too. Upon cracking into the records for the project Doc was astonished to find information of a most compromising nature. For our side!

In those files was contained forbidden knowledge of the most vile and disgusting sort imaginable. There were methods for evading and escaping the Big Man, including ways to sense when He was around and ways to hide oneself from His vision. It even held descriptions of certain mystical items and weapons which could be used to harm Him. All manner of horrible and appalling things. It was thought that all such information had been destroyed not long after the initial reports about the Big Man were leaked onto the web. There was an incident early you see, where one of the bloggers stumbled onto the information from a previous hunted who had stolen it from one of those stupid cults. Luckily, neither of them had really known how to properly use the information and they were taken care of and the blog passed off as a failed ARG attempt. 'Cause that was how we rolled back then.

This sick and perverted knowledge was of course quickly destroyed for good. It did prove useful, however, in providing us with the information we needed to bypass Salli's bypassing of the perception filter, turn it back on him, break in, kill his guards, and get into his office. He was not so pleased to see us just barge in on him like that. Now, our goal from the beginning had been to kill Salli. That was after all why Jonas hired us. Or so we thought. However, there was still one piece missing. It seems that Salli had actually gotten his hands on one of those mystical weapons I mentioned above. We had to get our hands on that as well, naturally, and for this end Doc brought Madi back. He had been training her the ways of bullshit Nazi voodoo bullshit and felt it was time to give her a chance to test her skills.

And Archy kind of insisted we bring her. Because he just calls up and gives us random orders sometimes, whatever. Of course, something got fucked up, the twins ended up shooting Salieri before Doc could get the information he wanted, and Madi, along with two of my boys from the old squad, were killed by guards. We managed to get the artifact and get out, but Doc wasn't too happy about Glorianna trying to get rid of him like she did. But it wasn't all bad. We got back the weapon and destroyed it. And because I asked Him very nicely, Slendy Bendy killed Jonas for me. You don't need to know why, just because you love me.

All things considered, I'd say it wasn't nearly so bad as Doc made it out to be. Legacy didn't even turn up like we'd half-expected him to do, and another day without being chased by death is a good one in my Book.

Did that go on too long? Tough shit.

Hey. Been a while ya'll. Fingers crossed folks, I just might be able to get out for a spell if I can time this right. Keep it frosty peeps.


  1. There was a certain ARG attempt that actually brought this mythos to my attention, one about the Wooden Girl... it was very purposeful.

    I know of at least three victims that have been "infected" because of just that one experiment.

  2. Now imagine all the people who get infected just by watching the vids and readin the blogs and all that other inanae bullshit that keeps us crazy fuckers sane but it's how shit goes people will always be well and truly fucked.