Wednesday, August 31, 2011

'Cause I need to watch things die (not) from a distance

At last! It begins. The bodies hit the floor. And it is glorious! Mwhahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Now I did mention that Miss Shawe was a bit antisocial, didn't I? Well, it seems that was sort of Master's fault. But only a little. She was never really much of a people person, but she apparently did have a few friends which she then dropped when Master showed up. Probably to keep 'em safe or some stupid shit like that. Silly girl, thinking she can keep things hidden from Master and me. Why am I telling y'all this? Heh, as if you couldn't guess.

Come here, you naughty girl; you're such a tease

Poor little Becky. Such a sweet, caring young woman. She was very concerned about her friend's increasingly odd behaviour, even moreso when Miriam had started avoiding her all the time, stopped answering her phone. Well, she just had to find out what was wrong with her dear old friend and if Miriam wouldn't come to her, she'd just go to her. A mistake, ladies and gentlemen, that's what we call that. If she had stayed away like a good little stupid teenager, then maybe we wouldn't have gotten her. This soon.

So what had happened was, she's just walkin' along down the street, headin' to Miriam's house. Of course I was out stalkin' an' shit, and I recognized her. As I've said, I do my homework, I know who people are. And well, I just can't allow an opportunity such as this to pass me by, so I do what any good proxy would do in such a situation. I'm sure you all can figure it out, but I'll tell you anyway. I killed her. What, you thought I was gonna go into detail? Fine. I slit her throat. You want more? You sick, sick bastards, you oughtta be ashamed of yourselves.

After a brief detour through ways unseen by muggles, I and the body arrived on Miss Miriam's doorstep. Here, I proceeded to slice open the abdomen and toss a few of the organs into the hedges. Allowing ample amounts of blood spill onto the porch, I then propped her up against the door, so as to fall inside the house when the door was opened. I rang the doorbell before cutting out. Ah, the screams, I do so love the screams. They're almost musical.

I must admit to having never really enjoyed such flashy methods of execution and disposal. In my old line of work, one was more apt just leaving them in a ditch or a cheap motel room. Y'know, inconspicuous and whatnot. But I try to do what I can when I have the chance. Oh, and the effect was marvelous! Methinks she'll have a hard time ignoring us now. Hey, come out and play.

Oh, and Lucifer... Keep the fuck outta my shit, dawg. You and Oblivion both. Geez, I'm tired of seeing that ugly red text all over everything, making my sexy blog look all nasty.

Looks like I'll be leaving you there peeps, Madi's callin' me about something. Dammit woman, stop yelling at me! Jeezus...

Now to all my adoring fans out there, keep frosty. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight.
Maybe I should turn off the ipod for awhile?

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