Tuesday, August 2, 2011

So uh, just a few things real quick...

Y'all remember when Konie-dawg and I were in those fucked up woods and the cops showed up? And y'all remember after that when the frickin' Trenchcoat Brigade arrived and started shooting at us? I hope you do, unless of course Master took away your memories, in which case that's completely alright.

So anyhow, I found these people. Buncha jokers who call themselves CRUSADER. Sounds sexy, don't it? Well I figured that since I was gonna be stuck in Indy for a few days anyway, I might as well use my time here to exact a little payback on these dickwads for trying to kill me. They try to shoot me, so I find their little compound and destroy it all. I think that's only fair, right?

Well that was exactly what I did. It took a bit of searching, but after a few days (it was like Wednesday, I think) I managed to find where those asswipes were holed up at. I was greatly underwhelmed. It was this dinky little piece of shit place on the outskirts of town. I was expecting a something more impressive and awesome. Y'know, with some crazy shit like the PTC have. Fuck this was disappointing. I almost wished Lucifer and Madi hadn't already arrived, there wasn't nearly enough to go around. I mean damn, there weren't even a half-dozen people in the goddamn place! I mean what, this like a buncha dickholes playing Scooby-Doo in their spare time. Scooby-Doo with guns maybe, but still.

But alas, I had spent almost half a week trying to find these dipshits and like hell I was just gonna leave now because there wasn't anything worth fighting. So the three of us head on down and I break the door in, hey fuckers what's for dinner, you know, the usual thing. I must hand it to them, it didn't take long at all for the guns to come out and the bullets to start flying. If I didn't know any better, I might have almost been impressed. I immediately ducked out of their line of fire and told Lucy to head in. Asshole might not be fake-immortal anymore, but hey, he's still more bulletproof than me. And y'know, he's expendable. They couldn't replace me if they tried. Lucy ducks in, gives 'em a fancy light show, and I follow and start shooting while they're confused. Hell, even Madi got in on it and stabbed this dude in the neck. I'm so proud of her.

So um yeah, we killed a few peoples, there may have been a tiny explosion or two. I kind of had to grab Madi and run like hell when Lucifer decided to ignite those gas cans. It sounded amazing though, so I'm sure it all turned out alright. I don't know what happened to Lucy after that, but it's only been a week, I'm sure he's fine. I'm sure he's probably in some kind of trouble by now. Dammit.

Well after all this, we were just chillin', hangin' about Indy, checkin' out some sexy dimensional bleeding; one day I was attacked by what appeared to be a rabid donkey. Don't ask, I don't even know. Anyways, one day while I was just out, minding my own business, I see one of the Trenchcoat Brigade following me. Of course I realized this immediately, I mean stalking is what I do when I'm not killing people or destroying things, of course I noticed him there. Well, a fight then ensued and after not too long I actually started to get my ass kicked. This I could not allow. So I promptly kicked the asshole in the junk and ran like hell. So, when I got an opening, I deliverd a kick to the stomach and rushed him, stabbing him in the eye. Then I ran like hell for the second time in a week, which is not something I enjoy doing.

Then, a few days ago, they found the hotel we were staying at. Had to abandon that right quick. I now have a nice scar all down my arm because one of these hosers tries to take a sword to Madi. Mighty unchivalrous bunch. We made it out though and are now lying low. I should've blown the whole thing to hell when I had the chance, but hey, I thought it'd be amusing to leave them to deal with this shit. My mistake. Not that I don't find this whole cat and mouse game fun and all, but c'mon, it gets old real fast. How the fuck do they keep finding me too? Rhodes, if you are the one doing this, I will find you, castrate you, and stuff your dick so far down your throat that you choke to death on it. Kapeesh?

Good, I knew we could reach an understanding.

I'm gonna meet up with OBLIVION, hopefully get some answers about some stuff. I don't feel quite right. I'm not really sure what's going on... I think they're here again. Aww, here it goes!

Stay frosty peeps. You're all beautiful and I love you all.

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