Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Oblivion, you bastard, who told you could jack around on my account while I was gone? But I suppose it can't be helped, my fans were no doubt starting to get a bit crazy from being without word of me for so long. I apologize, my peeps, I promise y'all it won't happen again.

So, I guess everybody knows about what went down in Indiana. Our little adventure at this collector-dude's place ending with me and Madi making a desperate escape through a door to an eldritch location. First time I've actually been in the Empty City myself, but lemme tell ya, it's really a rather nice place. I mean, maybe not for all the assholes that get stuck wandering around inside forever, but hey, they're probably the same dumbfucks that refuse to submit to Master, so what does their opinion matter anyway?

Perhaps I did get lost inside for a few days, but dammit, the City' big and difficult to navigate! Made it out before Oblivion hijacked the blog actually, but I haven't been able to get to a computer until now. Why is that, you may ask? Because we're now in  fucking Wyoming. That's right, the most sparsely populated of all the fifty states. There were more people in Indianapolis than there are in this whole damn state. But it's not just bad luck that brought me here. No, Master has a new job for me. A classic stalking position involving driving one of you out of your mind by use of whatever means I feel necessary. It's a sweet gig. I get to do whatever I want, just so long as I don't kill her.

A pretty little thing by the name of Miriam Shawe. Miss Shawe lives with her parents in a nice little house on the outskirts of the bustling a bustling metropolis that is home to somewhere in the neighborhood of 5000 people. She is 16 years old, attends the local high school, and, as far as I can tell, doesn't really have too many friends. Mostly I've just seen her sittin' on her ass and doin' shit on the internets, which let me tell ya isn't terribly interesting. 'Course, I can't imagine there's much else to do in a town this small besides get high or fuck in an alley, both of which are deviant activities and probably unhealthy, so it's not like one can blame her.

See, Uncle Ridley does his homework. We know she's seen the Master a couple times, but she refuses to acknowledge Him. I'm here to teach her the folly of ignoring your problems and hoping they just go away. Because we all know doing that only makes your problems worse. Then again, I suppose they were only going to get worse regardless.

Now I know what y'all're thinking. This girl sounds boring as hell and besides that, I'm in Wyoming. How can anything interesting possibly come of this? Well never fear my chillins because I have plans. Mostly involving that irritating little time-paradox girl that I've been forced to drag along with me these past couple weeks. She's been coming around to our way of thinking, we got her to kill one of those Crusader assholes and steal from that old magick collector. That's all well and good, but if she's gonna continue hanging around with my peoples, then we're gonna have to do better than that. And we shall do better.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed that Archy remains ever silent. Upon attempting to phone the Ark, I was informed that the number I had dialed was no longer in service blah blah blah. I haven't noticed him around the blogosphere in about a month now and the Master doesn't seem to be in the mood to tell me of anything going on. Therefore, I have deemed it acceptable that I make this MY account now. For reals like. At least until Archy does turn up and tell me otherwise. So hey, it says my name at the bottom of the post now. Ain't that fancy?

Stay frosty my chillins! Uncle Ridley loves you all.

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