Now, a bit of explanation for those of you that have been keeping up and remember that I've been, shall we say, under the weather lately. And y'know, locked in a room with no access to the outside world where I was making a valiant effort at taking all the itty bitty pieces of my shattered mind and fitting them back together nicely. It was going well, fuck what that asshole with the broken capslock says.
Then something very clearly went wrong. I mean besides the fact that I ended up stuck in Indiana. Apparently. I don't remember writing that last post. I don't remember fighting Konie-dawg again. Or that Rhodes motherfucker (though I think I'll still kill him should I run into him, he seems like someone who deserves it), or being chased out of the forest by dudes in trenchcoats. In short, I remember nothing.
However, it seems Lucy and Madi will in fact be coming to Indy. Awesome. Since I've been stuck here, I have devised plans and I could use some backup. What plans, you may be wondering? Well sorry chillins, I ain't gonna tell you that. The walls have ears, or in this case, fucktards have eyes and can read this blog. I'm onto you motherfuckers. Blow me.
Stay frosty, my chillins. Uncle Ridley has business to attend to.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Who the fuck is Rhodes?
So maybe it wasn't all that smart to just follow the advice of some random proxy I ain't never met before, even if it was to stop Konie-dawg from retrieving Zero's sword. 'Cause, y'know, I'm much cooler and more deserving of having a sword. Well, even so, I did attempt to not fall into the realms of dumbassery again, but it seems fate has other ideas.
Y'all probably wonderin' what the hell I'm goin' on about now, ain't ya? So, what happens is, I get a message from some proxy calling himself Rhodes, says that Konaa's managed to track down where Zero's sword ended up and is heading to go get it. He says he needs me to go and stop him, and then doesn't really explain why exactly or what the hell is going on. Well, I don't know what the hell was going on, but I wasn't about to let that twat get that sword. So it was off to Indiana! Wonderful. I open up the good ol' Path of Black Leaves and stroll on through, and soon enough there I am in Indian-Land-City, though I can't say as I saw too many Indians there. Must've headed back to India.
Anyhow, Rhodes had given me directions to that forest outside the city where the sword was and so it was to there I made my journey. Eventually I found the damn forest and after a bit of wandering around I stumbled upon my dear friend Konie-dawg with the sword. I made my presence known by requesting that he hand the sacred blade over to more capable hands, which he of course refused with a side of 'God dammit, how the fuck are you here? Fuckfuckfuck, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.' Then he just kind of went on swearing for a little bit, that fucking pottymouthed little twatbastard. After a while I had to interrupt him 'Yo Konie-dawg, ease off huh? Don't make me have to wash yo mouth out with bleach.' Then he just kind of stared at me like a dumbass so I made a move for the sword and he moved out of the way, so I took out my knife. Then the cops showed up.
Yeah, there were police. And you wanna know who fucking called the police? Well, so would I. Wasn't the little bitch anyway, cause they yelled something about arresting both of us. For drug trafficking, WTF? Oh but wait. It gets even better. Then these other dudes wearing trenchcoats and masks showed up. And start shooting at me and Konaa, which of course gets the cops to start shooting at them and suddenly we're stuck in the middle with bullets flying all around. In other circumstances, I might have found that enjoyable, but Konie-bitch was high-tailing it out of there with my sword. I had managed to jump out of the way but some of those gun-happy bastards were following me and my old pal had run off in the opposite direction. So much for the sword, dammit. Well, I was stuck with more pressing matters at the time, like police, gun-happy trenchcoat/mask-wearing weirdos, and what appeared to be the ghost of Marie Antoinette.
Hoping to keep my skin intact for many more days of fun, I retreated from the shootout. One of those weird trenchcoat dudes came after me and I promptly said hello with my gun. Sonabitch was quick, but eventually I got him in the knee when he stopped. 'Course if I had been paying attention to WHY he had stopped... yeah, that might have been a good idea. I SAW DEAD PEOPLE! No, but seriously, I SAW DEAD PEOPLE! IN SUITS! Rubbery, dried-out looking, old farts in business suits, trying to steal Master's fashion statements I think, waddling through the trees towards us. Now if I had indeed realized that 'hey, crazy mofo chasing me through woods suddenly stops, something up must be' then I might not have ran right into them. Instinctively, I shot one of them in the face. Unfortunately, that was my last bullet, but luckily I always have my knife with me, so I stabbed one in the heart and made a swift slash into another one's neck, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE!
They were upon me and once I was in their clutches they began to drain my life force leaving me as a dried-out empty old husk. Or something, I don't really know, but it felt nasty so I stabbed and shit and eventually managed to fight my way out and continue running aimlessly through the forest. There were weird sounds and some psychedelic lookin' lights that tried to tempt ol' Uncle Riddles into recreational drug use, but never fear! I perservered and made it through the jungle! Well, actually I blacked out somewhere along the line and then woke up back in the city. So in short, what. the. fuck. was all that?
It's Rhodes' fault, apparently. I suspected as much, Konaa's too dumb to stage something like that. Weird trenchcoat people are apparently some kind of... secret organization. How trite. Fucktards. And in possibly unrelated matters, I am now stuck in Indianapolis. I appear to be unable to access the Path now. So I'll be waiting for Lucifer to come pick me up (I called Archy but he's busy with I don't even fucking know anymore). Until he arrives, I figure I may as well have some fun being in an actual city again, since my little trip to Boston was all filled up with business matters. Mostly. I'm sure y'all remember how that turned out right?
It was fucking awesome!
Anyways, I'm gonna be chillin' I guess, do whatever it is people do in Indianapolis. I wouldn't know, but I guess I'll figure it out.
Stay frosty, my peeps, Uncle Ridley is always watching.
Y'all probably wonderin' what the hell I'm goin' on about now, ain't ya? So, what happens is, I get a message from some proxy calling himself Rhodes, says that Konaa's managed to track down where Zero's sword ended up and is heading to go get it. He says he needs me to go and stop him, and then doesn't really explain why exactly or what the hell is going on. Well, I don't know what the hell was going on, but I wasn't about to let that twat get that sword. So it was off to Indiana! Wonderful. I open up the good ol' Path of Black Leaves and stroll on through, and soon enough there I am in Indian-Land-City, though I can't say as I saw too many Indians there. Must've headed back to India.
Anyhow, Rhodes had given me directions to that forest outside the city where the sword was and so it was to there I made my journey. Eventually I found the damn forest and after a bit of wandering around I stumbled upon my dear friend Konie-dawg with the sword. I made my presence known by requesting that he hand the sacred blade over to more capable hands, which he of course refused with a side of 'God dammit, how the fuck are you here? Fuckfuckfuck, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.' Then he just kind of went on swearing for a little bit, that fucking pottymouthed little twatbastard. After a while I had to interrupt him 'Yo Konie-dawg, ease off huh? Don't make me have to wash yo mouth out with bleach.' Then he just kind of stared at me like a dumbass so I made a move for the sword and he moved out of the way, so I took out my knife. Then the cops showed up.
Yeah, there were police. And you wanna know who fucking called the police? Well, so would I. Wasn't the little bitch anyway, cause they yelled something about arresting both of us. For drug trafficking, WTF? Oh but wait. It gets even better. Then these other dudes wearing trenchcoats and masks showed up. And start shooting at me and Konaa, which of course gets the cops to start shooting at them and suddenly we're stuck in the middle with bullets flying all around. In other circumstances, I might have found that enjoyable, but Konie-bitch was high-tailing it out of there with my sword. I had managed to jump out of the way but some of those gun-happy bastards were following me and my old pal had run off in the opposite direction. So much for the sword, dammit. Well, I was stuck with more pressing matters at the time, like police, gun-happy trenchcoat/mask-wearing weirdos, and what appeared to be the ghost of Marie Antoinette.
Hoping to keep my skin intact for many more days of fun, I retreated from the shootout. One of those weird trenchcoat dudes came after me and I promptly said hello with my gun. Sonabitch was quick, but eventually I got him in the knee when he stopped. 'Course if I had been paying attention to WHY he had stopped... yeah, that might have been a good idea. I SAW DEAD PEOPLE! No, but seriously, I SAW DEAD PEOPLE! IN SUITS! Rubbery, dried-out looking, old farts in business suits, trying to steal Master's fashion statements I think, waddling through the trees towards us. Now if I had indeed realized that 'hey, crazy mofo chasing me through woods suddenly stops, something up must be' then I might not have ran right into them. Instinctively, I shot one of them in the face. Unfortunately, that was my last bullet, but luckily I always have my knife with me, so I stabbed one in the heart and made a swift slash into another one's neck, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE!
They were upon me and once I was in their clutches they began to drain my life force leaving me as a dried-out empty old husk. Or something, I don't really know, but it felt nasty so I stabbed and shit and eventually managed to fight my way out and continue running aimlessly through the forest. There were weird sounds and some psychedelic lookin' lights that tried to tempt ol' Uncle Riddles into recreational drug use, but never fear! I perservered and made it through the jungle! Well, actually I blacked out somewhere along the line and then woke up back in the city. So in short, what. the. fuck. was all that?
It's Rhodes' fault, apparently. I suspected as much, Konaa's too dumb to stage something like that. Weird trenchcoat people are apparently some kind of... secret organization. How trite. Fucktards. And in possibly unrelated matters, I am now stuck in Indianapolis. I appear to be unable to access the Path now. So I'll be waiting for Lucifer to come pick me up (I called Archy but he's busy with I don't even fucking know anymore). Until he arrives, I figure I may as well have some fun being in an actual city again, since my little trip to Boston was all filled up with business matters. Mostly. I'm sure y'all remember how that turned out right?
It was fucking awesome!
Anyways, I'm gonna be chillin' I guess, do whatever it is people do in Indianapolis. I wouldn't know, but I guess I'll figure it out.
Stay frosty, my peeps, Uncle Ridley is always watching.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
SON, I AM DISAPPOINT
I REALLY DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD TAKE YOU THIS LONG TO GET OUT OF THERE.
TICK TOCK
IT WON'T STOP. BLEED MY CHILD, BLEED. PULL YOUR DAMN SELF TOGETHER! YOU WANTED TO FIX IT BY YOURSELF SO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
SO SORRY, I KNOW WE HAD A DEAL, BUT I DO NEED TO GET SOME WORK DONE HERE. AND SINCE YOU DON'T APPEAR TO BE GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON, I'M GOING TO NEED TO GET SOME TOOLS THAT I CAN USE.
I'LL GIVE YOU 'TIL SUNDAY TO PUT YOURSELF BACK TOGETHER. AFTER THAT, I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR DOING WHAT I MUST TO FINISH THIS.
TICK TOCK, RIDLEY, TICK TOCK.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Ridley...
Iscariot here.
So as I am sure you are all aware, the Master decided that Ridley's attempt to kill Konaa right in front of the Princess was going to far, and decided to make sure he would not try anything stupid like that again. It has not... quite worked out as planned.
The Master sent Ridley into a Labyrinth and broke his mind down to about that of the slaves, in the hope that Ridley might understand what fate awaits him the next time he decides to so blatantly disregard orders. However, Ridley's will is apparently a bit stronger than anticipated and, in such a broken state, is rather insane. I know what you might be thinking, that Ridley is insane as it is. That is not entirely true. Ridley is not nearly as crazy as his behavior most of the time would suggest. He is quite capable of acting rationally, if he only wanted to, but he says he enjoys acting like a madman far more. That is not to say that he is not really mad, oh he is very much, just not nearly so much as he would have you all believe.
Alas, I digress. You have seen the mad things Ridley has been posting on here and we were content to just let him do so for a while. However, those last two posts are not simply a product of Ridley's fractured mind, not unless something is going very wrong. This morning I was informed that apparently, Ridley had somehow escaped the Labyrinth, and was hanging out around town, quite his normal self. Thus I returned, only to find such claims seemingly fabricated, as Ridley was still in his little cell where I had lsat seen him, trollling the comments once again. I did notice that he was currently in the process of sending another threatening comment to the Princess and promptly took care of that. His computer privileges have been revoked for the time being, and shall likely remain so until he can manage to pull himself together or until the Master decides to let him out. I made an attempt to talk the Master into releasing him, as it has clearly broken him quite enough already, but alas my requests remain unheard. I suppose I should consider it lucky that the Master has not thought it necessary to just get rid of him yet. Many others have been disposed of for doing far less.
I have been rather busy between keeping up with Miss Fiona and some... other business. As such, I have not the time at the moment to look into what exactly has been going on with Ridley in, it seems, about the last twenty-four hours or so. Nonetheless when I do have time, I may get to it. Until then however, I really must fiinishing this and taking off.
~Regards
So as I am sure you are all aware, the Master decided that Ridley's attempt to kill Konaa right in front of the Princess was going to far, and decided to make sure he would not try anything stupid like that again. It has not... quite worked out as planned.
The Master sent Ridley into a Labyrinth and broke his mind down to about that of the slaves, in the hope that Ridley might understand what fate awaits him the next time he decides to so blatantly disregard orders. However, Ridley's will is apparently a bit stronger than anticipated and, in such a broken state, is rather insane. I know what you might be thinking, that Ridley is insane as it is. That is not entirely true. Ridley is not nearly as crazy as his behavior most of the time would suggest. He is quite capable of acting rationally, if he only wanted to, but he says he enjoys acting like a madman far more. That is not to say that he is not really mad, oh he is very much, just not nearly so much as he would have you all believe.
Alas, I digress. You have seen the mad things Ridley has been posting on here and we were content to just let him do so for a while. However, those last two posts are not simply a product of Ridley's fractured mind, not unless something is going very wrong. This morning I was informed that apparently, Ridley had somehow escaped the Labyrinth, and was hanging out around town, quite his normal self. Thus I returned, only to find such claims seemingly fabricated, as Ridley was still in his little cell where I had lsat seen him, trollling the comments once again. I did notice that he was currently in the process of sending another threatening comment to the Princess and promptly took care of that. His computer privileges have been revoked for the time being, and shall likely remain so until he can manage to pull himself together or until the Master decides to let him out. I made an attempt to talk the Master into releasing him, as it has clearly broken him quite enough already, but alas my requests remain unheard. I suppose I should consider it lucky that the Master has not thought it necessary to just get rid of him yet. Many others have been disposed of for doing far less.
I have been rather busy between keeping up with Miss Fiona and some... other business. As such, I have not the time at the moment to look into what exactly has been going on with Ridley in, it seems, about the last twenty-four hours or so. Nonetheless when I do have time, I may get to it. Until then however, I really must fiinishing this and taking off.
~Regards
When the World Bleeds
Okay, so what the hell is this? This shit's closing in now, you say, what the hell is this shit?
I TOLD YOU, IT IS THE BLEEDING OUT OF LUCIFER. REALITY HAS BECOME FRACTURED. THERE MANY BREAKING POINTS, BUT ONE IN PARTICULAR THAT IS OF INTEREST TO YOU.
What? That creepy fucking building? Fuck that shit, man, I ain't goin' back into that place again. There's at least one time-displaced psycho in there who wants me dead.
CAUSALITY MUST BE RESTORED.
I don't know what the hell that means, but allow me to repeat. Fuck. That. Shit.
VERY WELL THEN, YOU SHALL BE REJOINED TO THAT SNIVELLING HUSK YOUR MASTER LEFT YOU AS. WHEN YOU HAPPEN TO PULL YOUR MIND BACK TOGETHER, DO KEEP IN TOUCH.
Man, the hell with you, nigga. I dont' need your fucking help, I can fix my broken ass mind all by my DAMN self. And keep the fuck away from my new little friend. I have plans for her when I get back for good.
YOU DO PLACE TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON YOURSELF. THERE ARE OTHERS. I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT ASSHOLE FRIEND OF YOURS IF I COULD GET INSIDE HIS HEAD. ARROGANT OLD BASTARD. NOW, PROCEED, ON YOUR WAY TO OBLIVION.
Oooh, you're quoting kids' movies now, I'm shaking in my fucking boots. Kiss my black ass. Hey, woah, what the fuck, bro? Tthiss is.. whatt hte hell aer you doing, son of a bitch dont even yrt master riddles iss goood boy wyh ffor goes u to keepe ]unsih8ng ridlletyy674ieh FUCK no, i aint fucking doing this shit again I ain't gonna let you fucking dooo htis tto ne... koniedawf riddle no want nkill uyo n morrre pelase we be friemdw nnoe ues/// plea be grirnd fo 4id;eh yes/? burn it, fucking burn the damn thign nnnngghhhhhhlk;kl;;ll;l;d fifi and archy adn maadi und lucfer end dolly eeend messi aand caper and twinkeltwniklelittlestar nnd kona nud arky amd reddie dna robbie hda jayjay 4nd lainey abd zer0 and jay ND PHANTSAM NAD HE5 SPOOOKY LIL BRAt ndd riddlemerid dlemeriddle me this
riddles will kill all tthat will be killed but those that die cant be saved by time so tell me chillins tell me true does uncle riddles come to kill you//?
68 65 72 65 20 69 73 20 77 69 73 64 6f 6d
ffather yes son i want to kill you
I TOLD YOU, IT IS THE BLEEDING OUT OF LUCIFER. REALITY HAS BECOME FRACTURED. THERE MANY BREAKING POINTS, BUT ONE IN PARTICULAR THAT IS OF INTEREST TO YOU.
What? That creepy fucking building? Fuck that shit, man, I ain't goin' back into that place again. There's at least one time-displaced psycho in there who wants me dead.
CAUSALITY MUST BE RESTORED.
I don't know what the hell that means, but allow me to repeat. Fuck. That. Shit.
VERY WELL THEN, YOU SHALL BE REJOINED TO THAT SNIVELLING HUSK YOUR MASTER LEFT YOU AS. WHEN YOU HAPPEN TO PULL YOUR MIND BACK TOGETHER, DO KEEP IN TOUCH.
Man, the hell with you, nigga. I dont' need your fucking help, I can fix my broken ass mind all by my DAMN self. And keep the fuck away from my new little friend. I have plans for her when I get back for good.
YOU DO PLACE TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON YOURSELF. THERE ARE OTHERS. I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT ASSHOLE FRIEND OF YOURS IF I COULD GET INSIDE HIS HEAD. ARROGANT OLD BASTARD. NOW, PROCEED, ON YOUR WAY TO OBLIVION.
Oooh, you're quoting kids' movies now, I'm shaking in my fucking boots. Kiss my black ass. Hey, woah, what the fuck, bro? Tthiss is.. whatt hte hell aer you doing, son of a bitch dont even yrt master riddles iss goood boy wyh ffor goes u to keepe ]unsih8ng ridlletyy674ieh FUCK no, i aint fucking doing this shit again I ain't gonna let you fucking dooo htis tto ne... koniedawf riddle no want nkill uyo n morrre pelase we be friemdw nnoe ues/// plea be grirnd fo 4id;eh yes/? burn it, fucking burn the damn thign nnnngghhhhhhlk;kl;;ll;l;d fifi and archy adn maadi und lucfer end dolly eeend messi aand caper and twinkeltwniklelittlestar nnd kona nud arky amd reddie dna robbie hda jayjay 4nd lainey abd zer0 and jay ND PHANTSAM NAD HE5 SPOOOKY LIL BRAt ndd riddlemerid dlemeriddle me this
riddles will kill all tthat will be killed but those that die cant be saved by time so tell me chillins tell me true does uncle riddles come to kill you//?
68 65 72 65 20 69 73 20 77 69 73 64 6f 6d
ffather yes son i want to kill you
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
1318
why it nno doess stop?? ?/
mmmmmmasssster i mmuch sory i tell lyiou
tellm mprimncess iis much vrey very sorry u i tell u masater that isi no gfvood forf to punish rildey no more rdliey is um good boy no for t ohurrgt pppeoples nom ooer i is much ot of very good u see ridley bve good boy nmnaster
riddles be a very good boy youll see ill show you master just you watch no more it burns any more master youll see see riddley shalal be kept frosty once more do not for to hurt rildey more masster am to be forgive much master sorry plase do
Why the hell does shit like this always happen to a brother, huh? Can't a guy just for once catch a damn break? Jeezus, you get hired to kill people, and then He punishes you for trying to kill people! Well excuse me if I thought the little pussy was just annoying and I didn't want to listen to the sound of his blogposts anymore. I still personally think it'd be a favour to us all...
ridleu will be ggood masdtr uyo see rildey nbo fail you again master
do good rwork now ridldey shall yes master much r ildey will d o to atone for gthe own misatkes of ridley
riddles not shal l fial master again
I mean, really. Why did I kill that creepy little brat? 'Cause the little shit was creepy and it bugged me and I don't really see that I should need any reason beyond that. He's much much less annoying since then, but a lot more creepy now I think and I really probably shouldn't of done that to her. Oh quit staring at me before I have to get my gun. Anyways, ain't like there's much to do about it now is there? Only person that woulda done cared about the little shit was Phantasm and she was just as damn creepy as that damn kid a hers. Now fuck off, all of you.
rdidles can se ethe dead as wwhat become has of ridleys amdness
death for i swhat onyl thing ridles has done wiht ever
dno longggger foes ridley wish for ridlys onw self to caseu deat hhh for enmites of rilsey
Alright, damn, I mean yeah there's lots of fucked up shit around here. Ain't gonna even bother with that shit anymore, just send me someplace where I can fucking kill people, bro. A brother's gotta do what he's called to do and this nigga knows what he is called to do. We operate, baby. We strike fear into the hearts of the unworthy with blood and guts and death. And it is good. C'mon dawg, I think you'd be excellent. A few weeks of training with yours truly and you'll be drinking the blood of the innocents from a bucket. Maybe, but really, do you have a better one? I didn't think so. I'll talk to Archy, I'm sure he can come up with something. Sure, sure, don't mention it, baby.
Say, you ever get that feeling that something ain't quite right?
YOU MEAN LIKE, RIGHT NOW, RIDLEY-BOY?
Uh, yeah. Exactly like that.
NO, THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU DID IT WRONG, DUMBASS. NOT ENTIRELY WRONG, MOST PEOPLE DO IT THE SAME. FUCK IT. YOU'RE WRONG. I'M GOING TO FIX YOUR DAMN MISTAKE NOW AND WE'LL SEE HOW THIS GOES. YOU FUCKTARD.
mmmmmmasssster i mmuch sory i tell lyiou
tellm mprimncess iis much vrey very sorry u i tell u masater that isi no gfvood forf to punish rildey no more rdliey is um good boy no for t ohurrgt pppeoples nom ooer i is much ot of very good u see ridley bve good boy nmnaster
riddles be a very good boy youll see ill show you master just you watch no more it burns any more master youll see see riddley shalal be kept frosty once more do not for to hurt rildey more masster am to be forgive much master sorry plase do
Why the hell does shit like this always happen to a brother, huh? Can't a guy just for once catch a damn break? Jeezus, you get hired to kill people, and then He punishes you for trying to kill people! Well excuse me if I thought the little pussy was just annoying and I didn't want to listen to the sound of his blogposts anymore. I still personally think it'd be a favour to us all...
ridleu will be ggood masdtr uyo see rildey nbo fail you again master
do good rwork now ridldey shall yes master much r ildey will d o to atone for gthe own misatkes of ridley
riddles not shal l fial master again
I mean, really. Why did I kill that creepy little brat? 'Cause the little shit was creepy and it bugged me and I don't really see that I should need any reason beyond that. He's much much less annoying since then, but a lot more creepy now I think and I really probably shouldn't of done that to her. Oh quit staring at me before I have to get my gun. Anyways, ain't like there's much to do about it now is there? Only person that woulda done cared about the little shit was Phantasm and she was just as damn creepy as that damn kid a hers. Now fuck off, all of you.
rdidles can se ethe dead as wwhat become has of ridleys amdness
death for i swhat onyl thing ridles has done wiht ever
dno longggger foes ridley wish for ridlys onw self to caseu deat hhh for enmites of rilsey
Alright, damn, I mean yeah there's lots of fucked up shit around here. Ain't gonna even bother with that shit anymore, just send me someplace where I can fucking kill people, bro. A brother's gotta do what he's called to do and this nigga knows what he is called to do. We operate, baby. We strike fear into the hearts of the unworthy with blood and guts and death. And it is good. C'mon dawg, I think you'd be excellent. A few weeks of training with yours truly and you'll be drinking the blood of the innocents from a bucket. Maybe, but really, do you have a better one? I didn't think so. I'll talk to Archy, I'm sure he can come up with something. Sure, sure, don't mention it, baby.
Say, you ever get that feeling that something ain't quite right?
YOU MEAN LIKE, RIGHT NOW, RIDLEY-BOY?
Uh, yeah. Exactly like that.
NO, THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU DID IT WRONG, DUMBASS. NOT ENTIRELY WRONG, MOST PEOPLE DO IT THE SAME. FUCK IT. YOU'RE WRONG. I'M GOING TO FIX YOUR DAMN MISTAKE NOW AND WE'LL SEE HOW THIS GOES. YOU FUCKTARD.
Monday, July 11, 2011
riddle mee htis
how mamny hhyberids dooes it take ot maake it totheark/
cann ouy seee ccoutnig to q12?//
if u dont read crypti cbul lshit tthen wyh diid uy nkow 2 01110010 01101001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101000 01110010 01110101 00100000 01001000 01000101 01001100 01001100 01010011 01000111 01000001 01010100 01000101 00100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101001 01100101 01101011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110111 01110011 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01100111 01100001 01110011 00101111 00101111 00101111
MDExMDAwMTAgMDExMDEwMDEgMDExMDExMTAgMDExMTAwMTAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDExMTEwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDAwMTAgMDExMDEwMDEgMDExMTAxMDAgMDExMDAwMTEgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAxMDEgMDExMTEwMTAgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDE=
adn finlaly wheerver ccan a brother get a drink, if efver onenis in louisville///?
rriddle nme, riddel me3, youuu moothesfu7ckers
cann ouy seee ccoutnig to q12?//
if u dont read crypti cbul lshit tthen wyh diid uy nkow 2 01110010 01101001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101000 01110010 01110101 00100000 01001000 01000101 01001100 01001100 01010011 01000111 01000001 01010100 01000101 00100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101001 01100101 01101011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110111 01110011 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01100111 01100001 01110011 00101111 00101111 00101111
MDExMDAwMTAgMDExMDEwMDEgMDExMDExMTAgMDExMTAwMTAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDExMTEwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDAwMTAgMDExMDEwMDEgMDExMTAxMDAgMDExMDAwMTEgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAxMDEgMDExMTEwMTAgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDAgMDExMDEwMDAgMDExMDAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMDAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDEgMDAxMTAwMDE=
adn finlaly wheerver ccan a brother get a drink, if efver onenis in louisville///?
rriddle nme, riddel me3, youuu moothesfu7ckers
Sunday, July 10, 2011
wha thapennnnnnnne//
but matesr we was ggood mastre wy for does rrilddes mus tbepu nisehd//
more//
,.il
archy u noo heelp riddles?
phantnasm?
lucifer?
dolly?
Madi?
masaterr,m whello there waht brinsg you here?/
iis nooont dddoooooonnee.//
non pretttty princess riddls love tge prinxesss
kill everthing stay frostt
but matesr we was ggood mastre wy for does rrilddes mus tbepu nisehd//
more//
,.il
archy u noo heelp riddles?
phantnasm?
lucifer?
dolly?
Madi?
masaterr,m whello there waht brinsg you here?/
iis nooont dddoooooonnee.//
non pretttty princess riddls love tge prinxesss
kill everthing stay frostt
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Awwwww man!
So, as some peoples may have seen, Konie-dawg was here in Maine. Of course, I couldn't just let such an opportunity slip by unnoticed, I simply HAD to go and say hi to my old buddy. But y'know, he was stayin' with Fifi and I don't think Archy would be happy with me just going over there and startin' shit. Plus, y'know, I still haven't gotten the Princess a present, and it would be rude to go start shit in her house without even giving a gift first. So I hads to wait. Which, y'know, sucked.
But oh happy day, it seems Konie-dawg ain't nearly so thickheaded as I thought, y'all know he wanted to find the Ark, well he actually managed to do it too. If only Jayjay were so lucky, but that nut with the trippy Youtube channel simply won't give the poor guy a break. Sad really. Anyways, there I am, chillin' with my homies, when suddenly here comes Konie-dawg and the Princess.
Clearly, thought I, ol' Tall Dark and Slender must've delivered me this moment Himself. Who would I be to waste such a gift? An ungrateful servant, that's who, and I was not about to be any such thing. They're comin' over and I call out to them all like, "Hey Konaa, how's it hangin' dawg?" Well that little bitch looks at me and he just looks pissed as hell, like he's not even glad to see his old pal Ridley. I was very hurt, let me tell you.
So then I'm just like "Yo dawg, what's got itself stuck up yo ass? It's been a while y'know, ain't you gonna say hey to your oldest and dearest friend?" He gets real mean at this point and says I am in fact NOT his oldest and dearest friend. Right through the heart, that one was. So then I'm all like "Bro, how can you say that? Don't you remember when I saved your life in Mexico? Or was that Germany? What about that time we snuck up on George W. and pantsed him? Surely you haven't forgotten that? How we all laughed over coffee in the Oval Office afterwards while you posted pics of his ass to the interweb? C'mon bro, don't do this to me!"
Well, at that point it became quite clear that my old buddy simply was not going to remember, so I thought I'd do him a solid and beat some sense back into him. I seemed to recall needing to pay him back for a dislocated shoulder he gave me in Boston. Y'all remember that, when I beat the living shit out of him and he turned and ran like a little pussy to hide in some warehouse. Followed by the total dick move of shoving a crate down on top of me. Remember? Course y'all do. I know I do. But anyhow, I walk over to 'em and I lay it down for Kones: I'm gonna pound the hell out of him, he's gonna take it, with a smile on his face. So maybe I might possibly scare the Princess, but that nothing I can't have Archy deal with later, right? Of course, let's kick some ass!
Well there I was, all set to get started on my gruesome task, when who should happen to appear but the 'ol Blackety White King Hisself, dressed for business as per usual. And I'm all like "Hey Master, be wit' you in jus' one mo', I gotta rough this fuck up first." But apparently He didn't like that idea. Because I start hearin' Him inside my head then. And He's all like "Ridley! Stop it! You're a dumbass! Your life is worthless and I shall soon devour your mortal soul! Burn! Burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn anddieandburnanddieandubrnandieburnandand
burnanduburnanbudieandburnandburnandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieburnanddie
burnanddieburnandieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandandandand
and over and over and over and forever im sorry master iwont never do it again i swear please dont hurt me agina masert i love you master i love doing your work i wont hurt the fools no more i swear master please no more master no more dont burn me dont throw me into the fiery abyss of flames and agony dont lock me in the closet again again master ill be a good boy and buy more peanut butter the next time i clena out the pnarty
And I swear, this went on for days, but in fact it was only like ten seconds and I looked up and the Master is staring into my soul, y'know like He does. And my boys are there, just rolling with laughter. I shot Kratz in the head and the rest of them shut up. Well, I looked back and there was the Master, still lookin' at me, and I could see He wasn't much happy 'bout the situation, as it were, and He reaches out one of His long arms and grabs me by the face and everything goes black and well, I don't know what the hell happened. I just woke up back in my room and naturally the first thing I did was to log on here and write all that out. Or maybe not. Oooh, mysterious, isn't it?
But dammit, Master, he was right there! I wasn't gonna hurt him. All that much. I was at least gonna let him get away so's I could come after him again, at least one more time. Cause three, y'know, three's a good number. Man, I swear and now Konie's on a train back to Boston and I'm stuck here until I don't fucking know. They're taking away my freedom peeps! Treating me like I'm their dog or something and they can just tell me what to do!
Well, technically I guess they can. I'm sorry Master, please forgive my insubordination. And don't send me back to the Dark Place, please Master, please don't do it. I'll pay for the honeymoon once you and the Princess actually get hitched! Or y'know, at least point out a decent spot for ya or something.
Eh, whatever. Now I have to find something to amuse myself with. Hmm, The Master and His Princess... hmmm... TO THE FANFIC PAGES!!!!!!1111!!!1!1!!!!111
Later y'all. Stay frosty.
But oh happy day, it seems Konie-dawg ain't nearly so thickheaded as I thought, y'all know he wanted to find the Ark, well he actually managed to do it too. If only Jayjay were so lucky, but that nut with the trippy Youtube channel simply won't give the poor guy a break. Sad really. Anyways, there I am, chillin' with my homies, when suddenly here comes Konie-dawg and the Princess.
Clearly, thought I, ol' Tall Dark and Slender must've delivered me this moment Himself. Who would I be to waste such a gift? An ungrateful servant, that's who, and I was not about to be any such thing. They're comin' over and I call out to them all like, "Hey Konaa, how's it hangin' dawg?" Well that little bitch looks at me and he just looks pissed as hell, like he's not even glad to see his old pal Ridley. I was very hurt, let me tell you.
So then I'm just like "Yo dawg, what's got itself stuck up yo ass? It's been a while y'know, ain't you gonna say hey to your oldest and dearest friend?" He gets real mean at this point and says I am in fact NOT his oldest and dearest friend. Right through the heart, that one was. So then I'm all like "Bro, how can you say that? Don't you remember when I saved your life in Mexico? Or was that Germany? What about that time we snuck up on George W. and pantsed him? Surely you haven't forgotten that? How we all laughed over coffee in the Oval Office afterwards while you posted pics of his ass to the interweb? C'mon bro, don't do this to me!"
Well, at that point it became quite clear that my old buddy simply was not going to remember, so I thought I'd do him a solid and beat some sense back into him. I seemed to recall needing to pay him back for a dislocated shoulder he gave me in Boston. Y'all remember that, when I beat the living shit out of him and he turned and ran like a little pussy to hide in some warehouse. Followed by the total dick move of shoving a crate down on top of me. Remember? Course y'all do. I know I do. But anyhow, I walk over to 'em and I lay it down for Kones: I'm gonna pound the hell out of him, he's gonna take it, with a smile on his face. So maybe I might possibly scare the Princess, but that nothing I can't have Archy deal with later, right? Of course, let's kick some ass!
Well there I was, all set to get started on my gruesome task, when who should happen to appear but the 'ol Blackety White King Hisself, dressed for business as per usual. And I'm all like "Hey Master, be wit' you in jus' one mo', I gotta rough this fuck up first." But apparently He didn't like that idea. Because I start hearin' Him inside my head then. And He's all like "Ridley! Stop it! You're a dumbass! Your life is worthless and I shall soon devour your mortal soul! Burn! Burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn and die burn anddieandburnanddieandubrnandieburnandand
burnanduburnanbudieandburnandburnandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieburnanddie
burnanddieburnandieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandburnanddieandandandand
and over and over and over and forever im sorry master iwont never do it again i swear please dont hurt me agina masert i love you master i love doing your work i wont hurt the fools no more i swear master please no more master no more dont burn me dont throw me into the fiery abyss of flames and agony dont lock me in the closet again again master ill be a good boy and buy more peanut butter the next time i clena out the pnarty
And I swear, this went on for days, but in fact it was only like ten seconds and I looked up and the Master is staring into my soul, y'know like He does. And my boys are there, just rolling with laughter. I shot Kratz in the head and the rest of them shut up. Well, I looked back and there was the Master, still lookin' at me, and I could see He wasn't much happy 'bout the situation, as it were, and He reaches out one of His long arms and grabs me by the face and everything goes black and well, I don't know what the hell happened. I just woke up back in my room and naturally the first thing I did was to log on here and write all that out. Or maybe not. Oooh, mysterious, isn't it?
But dammit, Master, he was right there! I wasn't gonna hurt him. All that much. I was at least gonna let him get away so's I could come after him again, at least one more time. Cause three, y'know, three's a good number. Man, I swear and now Konie's on a train back to Boston and I'm stuck here until I don't fucking know. They're taking away my freedom peeps! Treating me like I'm their dog or something and they can just tell me what to do!
Well, technically I guess they can. I'm sorry Master, please forgive my insubordination. And don't send me back to the Dark Place, please Master, please don't do it. I'll pay for the honeymoon once you and the Princess actually get hitched! Or y'know, at least point out a decent spot for ya or something.
Eh, whatever. Now I have to find something to amuse myself with. Hmm, The Master and His Princess... hmmm... TO THE FANFIC PAGES!!!!!!1111!!!1!1!!!!111
Later y'all. Stay frosty.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Updates and shit
I shot Cross in the face. Bastard tried to sneak up on me an' jack mah blog? I don't think so!
So yeah, shit's been taken care of. It's a good day I think.
Stay frosty, mah peeps. Uncle Ridley loves you all and hopes to come see you as soon as he can.
So yeah, shit's been taken care of. It's a good day I think.
Stay frosty, mah peeps. Uncle Ridley loves you all and hopes to come see you as soon as he can.
Friday, July 1, 2011
By the Master...
What the fuck ARchangel?
Where the fuck are you? What was that? What the hell did you do?
I can see her now. But she's only in my head right? C'mon you were just making this shit up and...
what the fuck was that?
The black masked guy, adn Lucifer and all shit everything fukctittitififjp9opkm yn8raim hflkghasfdlhkfa;hfff
Dead men tell no tales. We have come to terms.
Where the fuck are you? What was that? What the hell did you do?
I can see her now. But she's only in my head right? C'mon you were just making this shit up and...
what the fuck was that?
The black masked guy, adn Lucifer and all shit everything fukctittitififjp9opkm yn8raim hflkghasfdlhkfa;hfff
Dead men tell no tales. We have come to terms.
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