Thursday, December 8, 2011

Your death black wings; Unfolding sleep

Madi, stop having a bitch fit. Doc's an old perv, yes, but he's an old perv with hon... he's got manne- well, he would never-

Fine. You're right, trying not to get raped is part of your training. Have fun. But c'mon, he's almost a hundred years old, you can take him. You stabbed that cult asshole, spilled that fucker's guts. I believe in yyyyoooouuuuu!!

Yeah, whatever.

So as some of my readers may have gathered, we once more have stuff happening. Sweet! you say, and damn right for it. Madi shall be taking a little vacation. Well, that's not really right. Iscariot wants her to train with Doktor Abendroth, the crazy old German asshole who posted on my blog way back sometime. He's really a good guy, I've known him for years. He and Archy fought each other back during the war... Possibly even the one in Germany and maybe actually in 1941, but with all the weird time-fuckery both of them get into, it's hard to say for sure. He was doing some work for my old boss, Mr. Jonas, when I met him.

Ah, Mr. Jonas, yes. That's why I'm here. What can I tell you all about him? Not much, really. He does... things. Illegal things, that much you can be sure of, and he is a very wanted man in several states. Including Canada. Or at least he was at one time. That was the work that Doc was doing for him, getting the fuzz off his ass. That sounded very wrong. Doc, like I said, fucks around with time a lot, he did some shit, Jonas became sort of a nonperson. Oh he had an identity, a nice dude who as far as anyone knew was not involved in any activities which would be frowned upon by the law, but the criminal lord Jonas wasn't nobody that ever existed. Or something like that. You get the idea.

Shit didn't turn out quite right though. Mr. Jonas had a bit of an accident. That's why he has spent the last five years here in a hospital hooked up to machines. I won't go into detail about that, other than to say that... uh, stuff happened and shit. Slenders was involved... I think. I recall meeting our tall friend around this time anyway. Jonas denies that there ever was a Tall Man, but he's a near-braindead cripple, who cares what he thinks?

After that, I joined the Slender crew. I could tell you more, but I'm not really feeling it at the moment. Maybe later.

I'm now back here where I am, and my old employer wants me to do him a solid. 'Cause I'm the best there is at what I do and what I do isn't wait I think I stole that from somebody, oh well, I probably killed 'em for the right to use it anyway. The point is I'm damn good. Konaa, you can just shut the fuck up laughing at me in your fucking grave. I could've gotten you, bitch. Rhodes is a whore. I'm getting off topic. The point is I'm FUCKING awesome. I do good work. I'm not going to tell you what work I'm doing, I'm just going to leave short sporadic updates on here to make you guess as to what's going on, so that you will pull out your hair trying to theorize what it is that I'm up to.

No, but serious like. I still got Hansel & Gretel up here with me, and soon my old homeboys from Massachusetts are gonna be comin' up to do stuff. I kind of forgot them after I was mysteriously moved from Maine to Indy, so I'm sure they're bored, they obviously haven't been doing jack shit since I left them. Bums. Come to think of it, I should probably look into how I ended up in Indy. That wasn't really explained was it?
Fuck it, it was like five months ago, does anybody even really care anymore?

we care very much ridley. don't leave us yet, dear boy.

So I gots my new team be gettin' together soon and shit, and then we're gonna go do some stuff. I'll keep you all posted. Don't worry, I promise not to be all cryptical bullshitty like I implied I would be. I love you guys, I wouldn't do that to you.

Also, Robert is a giant hot dog. I say we grill him up and eat him.

Stay frosty.

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